‘Hot’ is a cool way to wise up on menopause

Hot flashes. Insomnia. Mood swings. Strange body odor. Panic attacks. Memory loss. And, my personal favorite, vaginal dryness. These are just some of the 34 symptoms of a condition that affects approximately 30 million women in the United States ages 40 to 54, plus some as young as 35 and as old as 59.

Yes, friends, I am talking about menopause — the point at which a year has passed since a woman’s final menstrual period and when her ovaries have stopped creating eggs — and menopause’s precursor, perimenopause.

Yet given that menopause happens to all women, why is so little attention given to studying it? And why is it still considered a taboo topic in many circles?

Veteran health reporter and author of “How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids” Jancee Dunn aims to change all that by proving there’s no shame in the menopause game. In her ninth book, “Hot and Bothered: What No One Tells You About Menopause and How to Feel Like Yourself Again,” she plies readers with stories of women’s experiences; insights from trained ob-gyns, neuroscientists, dermatologists, sleep experts, urologists and psychologists; and actionable tips on how to get through this phase of life, including a stepby-step game plan on how to prepare for “the Change.”

Dunn presents her research in a way that’s easy to digest. With amusingly titled chapters like “Twilight Saga: Why the Hell Didn’t Anyone Tell Me About Perimenopause?,” “Why Did I Walk Into This Room Again?: Brain Fog Is Real. So Are Mood Changes” and “Hormone Therapy — Let’s Go There: Life Restoring Miracle? Rife with Risks? Both? Neiher

ther?,” the book walks through perimenopause, menopause and beyond. Readers can flip to a section to find out everything they wanted to know about often-Googled subjects, from the dangers and benefits of menopausal hormone therapy to bone-density tests and the increased risk of osteoporosis to a list of conversation starters for how to approach treatment with a doctor.

For some, “The Dry Vagina Monologues: It Shouldn’t Hurt to Have Sex. Or Sit. Or Walk” will be especially useful. Due in part to her training as a sex columnist at GQ magazine and

own experience, Dunn — who hit perimenopause at 45 and shares that sex with her husband “felt like he had strapped on a condom made of Astroturf ” — writes with refreshing frankness about daunting bodily issues related to the “nether regions.” Among other topics, she explains the shrinking urethra phenomenon, demystifies genito-pelvic pain/ penetration disorder and extols the virtues of topically applied vaginal estrogen. (After using vaginal estradiol for three months, she had nearly painfree sex and “the equivalent of a new-model vag.”)

For others, Dunn’s inclusion of nonbinary and transgender people in her work, as well as studies involving symptom disparities in various ethnic groups and racism during medical or psychological treatment, will come as a welcome improvement over the hetero/ white-focused norm. “Given the disparities in menopausal care among ethnic groups — a 2022 study in the journal Menopause found that menopausal white women were more likely to be prescribed hormone therapy than Black or Hispanic women, for instance — it’s not exactly a shock that some women of color are mistrustful of the medical community,” she writes.

Something everyone with a working funny bone will appreciate is Dunn’s signature sarcasm and “I’ve-been-there” attitude that help the advice she doles out go down just a bit easier, as in her suggestion for how to explain what’s going on with your body to a close friend, family member or intimate partner: “Use the clear language that a doctor uses. Your vulva is not a pink canoe. It is not a coin purse. It is not a hot pocket.”

“Hot and Bothered” does have a perky, “You go girl!” ring to it. Quotes from celebrities like Gwyneth Paltrow and Kim Cattrall sprinkled throughout don’t seem to serve much purpose aside from amplifying the get-empowered vibe — as if to say, “Look! Famous folks go through menopause, too!” But the hard science referenced — and the compendium of resources, website links and list of prominent menopause experts’ social media accounts at the end — make up for the fluff.

Above all, it’s Dunn’s goal of teaching women how to educate themselves and embrace life’s next chapter instead of “suffering in silence” that makes this book worth reading and discussing. After all, she writes, “If more than a billion human beings will reach menopause by 2025, how can this many people continue to stay silent about it? We’ll see real and lasting change when we start talking openly. … The more we talk about it — to friends, family, coworkers, policymakers, your mail carrier — the more we steadily chip away the stigma.”

HOT AND BOTHERED: WHAT NO ONE TELLS YOU ABOUT MENOPAUSE AND HOW TO FEEL LIKE YOURSELF AGAIN By Jancee Dunn (Putnam; 304 pages; $28)

“If more than a billion human beings will reach menopause by 2025, how can this many people continue to stay silent about

it?”

Excerpt from “Hot and Bothered”

Jancee Dunn Jancee Dunn is the author of “Hot & Bothered: What No One Tells You About Menopause and How to Feel Like Yourself Again.”