Philip Flax

May 1, 1933 - November 6, 2023

Philip Leon Flax, whose life reflected the art that he supported, died on November 6th, in Santa Rosa, California. His beloved wife, Toby, was at his side.

Born in Bayonne, New Jersey to Sylvia and Herman Flax, on May 1st, 1933, he was the youngest child with two older siblings, Jerry and Lita. When he was three, the family traveled West to settle in San Francisco. He attended neighborhood schools; upon graduation from Lowell High he enlisted in the army returning home for the untimely death of his father in 1955. He joined the family business, Flax’s Artist Materials in San Francisco. Phil encouraged the talents of prominent local artists. He became known as a brilliant retailer, turning the “mom and pop” art store into a destination where, after 85 years, it is now recognized as a Legacy company.

In 1957 Phil met his true love, Carol Toby Melmon; his life gained a new completeness when they married in 1958. Together, they created beautiful homes incorporating the design skills of both. Phil was proficient in painting and in playing classical guitar, achievements that he modestly downplayed. He had a passion for games, known among his friends as an expert poker player. He was proud of his membership at the Mechanics Institute where he was member number 76. Phil and Toby spent their first years in San Francisco; after the births of their three children, Howard, Craig and Leslie, they moved to San Rafael.

They enjoyed their commitment to Marin County activities both avid golf and tennis players. Phil was an early member of the Marin Tennis Club and its first inductee into the Calcutta Hall of Fame. After raising their children, Toby and Phil downsized to a condo in San Francisco. Their three children joined him at the iconic Market Street store and together they grew the family business and became involved in San Francisco’s diverse cultural scene. Phil was reluctant to retire, but he realized the business was in good hands. His son Howard extended the company to Fort Mason and to downtown Oakland, becoming involved in the challenges of a new environment. It was time for Philip to relax and enjoy being the valued advisor, yet he loved being involved and worked remotely until just last month.

Food had always been an adventure! Phil loved discovering unique restaurants, enjoying the cuisine of varied ethnicities. Thanksgiving at the Flax home was always special. He was delighted to share his culinary skills, specializing in Asian food. When dining out, his friends agreed it was wise to let Phil order a Chinese feast!!

With the children now adults immersed in the demands of their separate families, Philip and Toby moved to Healdsburg, where they planted acres of grapes, the pride of a satisfying partnership with the Russian River Pinot Noir pioneer wineries William

Selyem and Merry Edwards. Their beautiful ranch became the playground for the next generation of Flaxes, highlighted by an annual picnic for friends and nieces and nephews. Though his life was devoted to art, Phil’s expertise extended to many fields. He was a determined autodidact and could be relied upon to comment on any topic, from politics to poetry and sports.

His favorite role was that of Popee to his six grandchildren, Emilie and Charlotte, Isabel and Jackie, Nathaniel and Ella, often enjoying a lengthy chess game with one of them. His prowess with bridge and poker served as entrée to new friendships when he and Toby moved to Varenna, in Santa Rosa.

This above all: Philip Flax was true to himself! He knew what he loved and he was eager to share with those dear to him a brilliant sunset, a fresh, hot bagel, a page-turning mystery, a Warrior’s victory. Even in his last days, which were fraught with physical decline, he maintained his sense of humor, a polished wit tinged with a splash of sarcasm. He remained the romantic expressing a deep appreciation for the tender care he received from Toby throughout their 65 years of marriage.

He was a man well loved and respected. His was a life well lived. He will be sadly missed by many nephews and nieces, by old and new friends and especially by his own Toby, Howie (Patty), Craig (Jenn) and Leslie (Thierry).

As we grieve a heavy loss, as we live with the reality that his absence has become a presence, we begin to see life from the beginning, from the times when Sylvia and Herman struggled to establish a new business that would serve their family and their communities for generations to come. Through Philip, the torch was passed with the dreams and values that kept it burning as a means of strength and survival. His legacy of art as a way of life and intellectual curiosity as a key to unlock life’s mysteries will endure.

A Celebration of Life is being planned for the near future.