Allergies trump hoarding grandparents

Dear Abby: My wonderful boyfriend and I have a 4-yearold daughter. The problem is, his parents are hoarders. They have piles of junk in the house and yard and six dogs.

My daughter has just been diagnosed with a severe allergy to mold. I don’t like her to go to their house, but they adore her and want to see her.

My boyfriend is in complete denial about his parents’ situation and says I’m “overreacting.” I don’t want to hurt their feelings or keep my child from her grandparents. Help!

At a Loss in Texas Dear at a Loss: The loving grandparents can spend time with the child at your home.

Make an appointment for you and your boyfriend to talk to your daughter’s doctor. Because she has severe allergies, her father needs to understand how serious that could become. Dear Abby: My daughter was recently married in our hometown. It wasn’t a large affair — only 60 people attended.

I received an e-mail from an old friend who was surprised to hear about the wedding and wanted to know why she wasn’t invited. I’m at a loss as to how to respond. I feel guilty for not having invited her, but we had decided early on that only family and a few close friends would be invited.

Is there a polite way to respond to her? I feel it was rude of her to even ask.

Mother of the Bride Dear Mother of the Bride: It was, indeed, rude of her to ask. A polite response would be to tell her the wedding was very small, but you’ll be sure to let her know when the grandchildren start arriving. Dear Abby: Years ago, my sister developed a freckle on her arm that was diagnosed as skin cancer. She was treated, and nothing more came of it.

Recently, she has been telling people she’s a “cancer survivor” and participating in survivor walks. I applaud her willingness to help, but it seems she’s comparing herself to people who have undergone breast cancer, chemo, loss of family members and worse.

Are my family and I being overly critical?

Brother Dave in Pennsylvania Dear Brother Dave: Yes. That cancerous “freckle” might have been melanoma, which is a very serious cancer. Your sister is lucky it wasn’t lifethreatening. If she wants to participate in cancer fundraisers, she has earned the right to be there. Write to Dear Abby at P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069 or www.dearabby.com.