San Francisco Chronicle

What do I tell curious nephew about diagnosis?

- By Jeanne Phillips

Dear Hearing Voices: Tell your nephew the truth. If he is as intellectu­ally gifted as you say, he will go online and start researchin­g. Explain that your condition can be overwhelmi­ng at times, which caused you at one point to try to harm yourself, but that it is kept in check with medication.

Your relatives may be reluctant to admit that there is a mental illness in the family, which is why they refuse to allow your psychiatri­st to confirm it. However, you may be able to find support from the National Alliance on Mental Illness. With 1,200 affiliates, NAMI provides grassroots, self-help groups for Dear Abby: I’m a 40-year-old woman, diagnosed with schizoaffe­ctive disorder after two suicide attempts. I have tried to get my parents and siblings to attend a session with me so they would understand my diagnosis, but all I hear is, “You don’t need all those drugs. You’re fine — just a little different than the rest of us,” and, “You have always been ‘odd’ and we like you that way.”

I have given up trying to get their support, but my gifted 14-year-old nephew has been asking questions about my diagnosis. I’m not sure how much to tell him, especially about the suicide attempts, one of which landed me in the hospital.

Any advice about what I should tell him and how to get family support?

Hearing Voices in Illinois people with mental illness and family members who are affected by it.

The website is www.nami.org. It may be able to help you get through to your family that your problems are not imaginary.

Dear Abby: Do you think it’s rude for guests to show up 10 or more minutes early? I enjoy hosting, but I need the last few minutes before party time for me, so I can get dressed, light candles, put out the food or just plain relax for a few minutes. Wondering in Wesley Chapel, Fla.

Dear Wondering: I agree with you. Guests with good manners show up at the appointed time. While arriving 15 minutes late is acceptable, to arrive early is an imposition on one’s host.

Dear Abby: My young married daughter, “Megan,” has a problem with a neighbor. This woman is taking my grandbaby out to eat at restaurant­s and seems to want people to think the baby is hers.

Megan doesn’t like what is going on. This neighbor does a lot for my daughter, and Megan doesn’t want to hurt her feelings. Ohio Mom

Dear Mom: Megan is not powerless. As the mother of that child, all she has to do is start saying no. If the neighbor asks for an explanatio­n, she should reply that what’s going on is making her uncomforta­ble. Period. There is no need to be unkind about it — just firm.

 ??  ??

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from United States