Will the pope make the Oscars?

This is fine news. The pope is getting his own fan magazine. It’s only in Italian, alas, but it’s not being published by the Vatican. It’s from the Mondadori publishing company, which is part of Silvio Berlusconi’s media empire. They also publish a celebrity gossip magazine called Chi.

I learned this all from a very fine article by Elisabetta Povoledo in the New York Times.

The pope magazine is called Il Mio Papa (My Pope). “It’s a sort of fanzine, but of course it can’t be like something you’d do for One Direction,” the magazine’s editor said. His first issue features many pope photographs, along with snippets of papal wisdom. This pope does seem to enjoy photo ops, particularly with the poor, so there will be much to choose from.

Still, it might get tedious over time. I can see Il Mio Papa loosening up. Something noncontroversial for starters — the pope’s favorite recipes, for example. Francis wouldn’t be required to really come up with his own — although I bet he’s a guy who cooks a little — because the magazine’s editors would be happy to whip up a few nice pasta recipes.

And of course: South American favorites. No doubt he’d want to do peasant food. Perfect. It’s in vogue right now.

We might also get the pope’s top 10 Argentine vacation hot spots. He was out and around when he was working down there; he knows where the best beaches are. He may even know where the best bars are. I do like his common touch, although he’s still preaching the same basic doctrines that have kept the church locked in the 14th century.

The pope does a lot of walking; maybe he has opinions about shoes.

But just once, maybe, Francis could bust a few moves. In case the fanzine’s circulation is declining, the pope could start popping and locking in St. Peter’s Square. Many amusing photographs as parishioners join in. That could be a cover story; that could be good.

Il Mio Papa will not get into controversies, any more than any other fanzine could. The idea is to take advantage of the pope’s soaring popularity. But soon websites will ape the fanzine’s format but with none of the ground rules that magazine has.

There are, after all, sex scandals in the church. The pope is trying to do something about that, but he faces a policy of lying and covering up that has ruled the Vatican for decades. Someone should investigate. A fanzine with a moral purpose. Think of that.

Although probably not. Probably more likely: papal up-skirt shots.

Il Mio Papa faces opposition from the Vatican itself, which likes to control the papal image as much as it can. For one thing, in 2008 the Holy See declared that it alone held the rights to the papal brand. They can sue if they think his image is being used inappropriately.

I don’t know much about Italian courts (although this whole Amanda Knox thing has made me wonder), but I suspect they would look favorably on a suit brought by the Vatican. I don’t imagine Il Mio Papa could survive after that kind of formal rebuke.

I think it’s fine that the pope’s image can’t be used to sell underwear. But just photos of the pope being the pope — I don’t see the harm in it. It’s kind of a genius idea, actually. There’s a market for it, Mondadori believes. Initial press run of 500,000 copies, 68 pages, glossy. All the pope you could ever need — and more!

But this bit about using snippets of the pope’s wisdom — that could be a problem too. The Vatican publishing house has asserted sole copyright ownership to all of the pope’s writings. If these snippets appear in Il Mio Papa, there could be additional problems.

The Vatican publishing house will “have to intervene,” said the director of the company. This might have a chilling effect on the snippets.

Of course, the pope also says things. He talks to people in the streets. He offers counsel. Presumably these spontaneous remarks would not be subject to copyright law. Although, again, this is Italian law. Who knows what its provisions are?

Still, it is a sign of the pope’s immense popularity that someone would even want to illicitly reprint his homilies. Hey, let the media make a buck too. The pope is doing the Roman Catholic Church a favor by seeming so down to earth and so compassionate. Still the same institution, but with a wonderful new PR manager.

The Vatican should just let it happen. Anti-Catholics might be opposed to the fanzine because it glamorizes the papacy, but hey, it’s working for the Vatican. They all should thank Francis very much for this (probably brief) respite from history.

In which we enter the odd world of celebrity journalism and uncover a trend.