OAKLAND RALLY POSSUM A FINALIST FOR MLB COMMISH

‘Ability To Play Dead’ Impresses MLB

According to well-placed sources inside MLB, the A’s Rally Possum has now joined Rob Manfred, Tim Brosnan and Tom Werner on the short list for baseball’s next commissioner. The search, in which MLB tried to find someone with even worse hearing and eyesight than Bug Selig, has taken over 10 years, with the world’s best scientists trying to determine what species could best willfully ignore the sport’s mounting scandals. Oakland’s Rally Possum convincingly played

dead during a simulated press conference, while Rob Manfred just seemed to be napping.

Commissioner Bug Selig is set to retire.

Playing dead during Biogenesis . questions.