SARONG MEETS KILT
Would-be fashion designer from Burma and S.F. doctor started off worlds apart but were united by love
“He makes me feel
so much joy. He’s a
light that makes
me brighter.”
Sam Shan, bridegroom
Flying your date’s plane on a first date would be special for most people. But especially for Sam Shan.
“I want to travel and see things I never saw before and do things I’ve never done,” Sam said. “It was very special for me.”
Sam, now 24, and from a village in Burma (also known as Myanmar), has already seen plenty. His parents were farmers, and he grew up with no electricity. When he was 14, the military began tapping boys in his village to haul heavy equipment into the jungle to fight a rebel army. Sam made a decision to flee, and that night crossed the border, eventually sneaking onto a train to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. He found work at an Italian restaurant, working his way up to manager, but he lived in fear of being found out and deported.
At 19, he emigrated to the United States. A refugee agency helped him, sending him to Salt Lake City, where he says he never truly settled in. His lifelong love of drawing helped him through this difficult time, and he earned his GED and began taking classes in fashion design.
Seeking a social life, he perused an online dating site, where he met William Miller, an internal-medicine doctor at California Pacific Medical Center in San Francisco. What drew Miller to Sam? Rather than a photograph, Sam had posted a handdrawn self-portrait.
William, now 51, was won over by Sam’s optimism: “He has a smile that melts my heart,” William said. “He is always able to look at the bright side of life and stay happy, even in times of challenge. I tend to be analytical and perhaps too much of a realist, so it’s nice to be in a relationship with someone who’s so upbeat and positive.”
On Sam’s first visit to San Francisco, William took him flying. A few months later, on his next visit, Sam decided San Francisco was a place where he could, finally, settle down. And, later, he decided that William, older and calmer, was someone he could settle down with: “I had never met such a gentle man like this,” he said. “He makes me feel so much joy. He’s a light that makes me brighter.”
William’s best man, John Qaqundah, noted that William was already well established when he met Sam. “Then, as he fell in love, he encouraged and supported Sam’s desire to become a fashion designer, even to the point of taking classes with Sam at City College.”
Sam earned a scholarship to Academy of Art University, where he is studying fashion design full time. After three years, the couple married Sept. 27 at the Mill Rose Inn in Half Moon Bay. William wore a kilt in the Shaw tartan in deference to his mother’s Scottish heritage, while Sam designed a “fusion” outfit for himself — a sarong known as a longyi, as men wear in Burma, in the country’s signature colors (gold, orange and reddish brown) but in a tartan pattern. That plaid also shows up in Sam’s portfolio of his fall 2014 collection. Bagpiper David Winter played during the ceremony.
Sam’s parents took their first plane ride to attend, arriving a few months before the big day since they hadn’t seen their son since he left home.
“I was really happy they were there, that we could dance together,” said Sam, who had only reconnected with them two years earlier through a cousin who uses Facebook on a generator-charged cell phone.
“My mom is happy that I found the right person and that I’m living a better life.”