LEAH GARCHIK A thief taketh away and a thief giveth

Tom Sweeney, doorman at the Sir Francis Drake and friend to visitors and locals alike, reports that a pair of tourists visiting from Miami told him that their car, parked in the Union Square lot, had been broken into, a camera stolen. But when they looked around in the car, there amid the shattered glass was a can containing $500 in cash.

Someone was either felt very guilty or was very careless.

P.S.: Someone stole a rocking/bouncy duck from the toddler playground in Joe DiMaggio Playground. When neighbors who thought that the duck had been removed for a renovation wrote to Rec and Park to complain, a project manager there informed them it was the victim of a heist. Rec and Park can’t patrol the area, so “we look to our neighbors to be the eyes on our parks,” said the response. Information about the missing duck is being sought.

Watching the 1995 San Francisco-set movie “Jade” on Netflix the other night,

Robert Zagone took note of a scene in which a corrupt governor of California is confronted by an assistant district attorney who has some politically damaging photos of him. The governor rages that if the D.A. drags him into a scandal, “you better get the f— out of the state of California, because you’ll have as much of a future here as Jerry Brown.” To which the accuser responds, “Who’s Jerry Brown?”

P.S.: In the midst of recent headline developments in the release of the Sony movie “The Interview,” Brown was perhaps making a statement, but more likely just eating dinner. Matt Bearson spotted him at Jin Mi Korean restaurant on Golden Gate.

1 Eric Knutila saw the bumper sticker on a car parked at a Raley’s lot in Reno: “Eat Beef, the West wasn’t won with salads.”

1 Steve Rubenstein saw “Exodus: Gods and Kings,” the new version of “The Ten Commandments,” and heard Moses talking to Ramses about the large implications of their disagreements. This isn’t “between you and I,” said Moses, proving that not only did he have a speech impediment, he also had a grammar impediment.

1 Isadora Alman says the answering machine at Temple Israel in Alameda informed callers that the Jewish place of worship “will be closed the evening of the 24th through Friday the 26th.” Maybe, she says, it was post-Hanukkah recovery.

Following up on the Netherland-ish response to recent perils of flooding, I heard from Dutchborn Lucas Schoemaker, who, as president of McCalls Catering, has a more than an amateur interest in food.

“Growing up in a Dutch kitchen and pastry kitchen,” he e-mailed, “we either smeared or piped whipped butter on the bottom of doors when we knew the water was rising. The cold water would firm the butter and seal the door. We only needed a lot of hot water afterward to clean it up.”

PUBLIC EAVESDROPPING

“The only smart

financial decision

we ever made was

getting my wife

her boob job

before declaring

bankruptcy.” Man to man, overheard at Ristorante Italiano in Santa Cruz by Barri Dommer

Happy 83rd birthday to Rita Moreno, who celebrated on Dec. 19 with more than 80 guests at her house in Berkeley. The party theme, right out of “The Great Gatsby,” was the ’20s, says a guest who wore knickers and carried a tennis racket. Women came dressed as flappers; men wore vintage black tie. A women’s barbershop quartet, On Top, performed; and the hostess, having changed her clothes to perform, sang several songs, ending with “Happiness Is Just a Thing Called Joe.” Guests brought toys to be distributed to needy kids on Christmas morning. “I am one happy Puerto Rican,” said the hostess. Literary affairs:

1 Donald Christians was captivated by the sign on a Little Free Library — one of those street-side boxes where people exchange books — on 22nd Street: “No hard porn, please.” Christians is wondering if soft porn is OK.

1 “It’s got to be true,”

Sande Schlumberger overheard a stroller at Crissy Field telling companions. “The Bible was written millions and millions of years ago.”