Single mom wavers about cutting ties to absent dad
Dear Abby: I’m a single mom. My child’s father has refused to take any responsibility since before the baby was born. I never cut ties because I’m sure my son will someday want to know his real father.
Even though he renounced his responsibility, he took it back and said he’d try to be there for my child. We are geographically many miles apart, and I no longer expect or hope for any possi- bility of a reconciliation — which is fine.
I just never wanted to seem like someone who has been dumped, so I reason that we’re cool. Abby, he never calls to ask how our child is.
Should I cut ties with him forever, or must I continue to be the one to message him informing him about the milestones? Confused Single Mom, Yokohama, Japan Dear Confused: A man who “tries” to be responsible for his children pays at least token child support to ensure that they are fed, clothed and educated. Nowhere in your letter did you indicate that your child’s father has done that — or intends to. If you want to stay in touch so your child will have an address to reach him when he’s older, I think that’s laudable. But if you’re expecting he will suddenly develop an interest — or a conscience — don’t get your hopes up. Dear Abby: My mother-in-law insisted on using place cards at our family’s Thanksgiving dinner to indicate where she want- ed us to sit. When I asked her why she needed a seating plan, she said it would be “fun.” While it ended up that we all sat where we wanted and everyone conversed nicely, she said her holiday was “ruined” because I ridiculed her. Would you ask your immediate family to sit in their appointed chairs, or let everyone sit where they would like?
Musical Chairs in New England
Dear Musical: One of the perks of hosting a sit-down dinner is having the privilege of controlling the seating. That it was a “family dinner” is beside the point. For you to have made such a scene that you ruined your hostess’ evening was rude, and you owe her an apology. Dear Readers: If you plan to be out celebrating New Year’s Eve on Wednesday and plan to drink, please arrange for a designated driver to transport you. The American Automobile Association in some communities offers a safe-ride program for members and nonmembers. To find out whether it’s happening in your community, go online or call your local branch of the AAA.