Mom dislikes my hubby, so what to do?

Dear Abby: A few years ago, my husband and I had problems. Our marriage was going downhill, but we recently managed to work things out. My problem is, I sounded off to my mother, who had never held him in very high esteem. She told me she never wanted to see him again. She has finally accepted that we are a package deal and she’s happy things are working out. She lives far away, and I’d like to pay a visit with my husband and children.

When I approached my husband with the idea, he told me that a few years ago she sent him an e-mail telling him she didn’t like him. He is justifiably uncomfortable with going to see her. My husband is contemplating going for my sake. Should I talk to my mother and ask her to apologize? Or just let things go? I don’t like the idea of taking the kids and not my husband.

Don’t Want to Be the Middleman

Dear Don’t Want: By all means speak privately to your mother. If she can smooth things over by explaining to your husband that when she sent the e-mail she was a “mother bear defending her cub,” it may make the visit less uncomfortable for your husband. Fences need mending, and it will take cooperation on everyone’s part. In the future, I hope you will resolve your marital problems like the adult you are and not go running to your mother. Dear Abby: I am a 20-year-old woman who works in an office with people who are in their 30s and older. Many of my co-workers have children who are about my age. Lately, one male co-worker seems to be getting a little “too nice” with me. He brings me treats in the mornings and sometimes pays for my lunch. Sometimes he gives me uncomfortable back- pats and sometimes even on my lower back. He is married with two kids. I have been turning down the breakfast and lunch offers, but he still seems to want to be around me. I’m not sure how to make these things stop. I don’t want to get any supervisors involved because I don’t want to jeopardize anyone’s job.

Too Close for Comfort Dear Too Close: The next time this man puts his hands on you, tell him to stop because it makes you uncomfortable. Say it in a firm, clearly audible tone that can be overheard by anyone close by. Then document the incident with date and time. This should stop him. If he continues, discuss the problem with a supervisor.