Departures: Practicing ‘mindfulness’ halfway across the Atlantic
The trouble with flying across the Atlantic Ocean is that passengers don’t breathe right while they’re doing it.
British Airways is changing all that. It’s come up with a new inflight video. You turn it on at 38,000 feet, and a man in a pink shirt says everything will be OK on your voyage to the far side of planet Earth if you will only think about your breathing while you’re doing it. That’s because most people just breathe without thinking if, on an airplane, they breathe at all.
The man in the pink shirt is Mill Valley mindfulness guru Mark Coleman. He speaks very slowly. Clear your mind. Close your eyes. Live in the here and now, all 11 hours of it.
“Welcome to on-board mindfulness meditation. Take a moment to find some ease. Relax your posture. You might adjust your seat to recline a little.”
You might. Then again, if you don’t want to get clobbered by the mindful passenger sitting 31 inches directly behind you, you might not.
“Take a moment to notice what’s it’s like to be sitting here on this plane mid-flight. You might notice the quiet rumble of the engines. You might notice people talking or a little turbulence here or there.”
You might. You might also notice that the quiet rumble of the engines isn’t quiet. You might also notice people talking, particularly the kid in the next seat who has been screaming since Greenland, and you might notice a little turbulence that feels like the Tilt-a-Whirl at the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk.
“Feel the full sensation of breathing. Do you feel the cool, fresh air on your nostrils?”
On an airplane you can feel cool, fresh air only if you open the window, but it’s not recommended. Perhaps British Airways, being based in London, lacks experience with fresh air.
“Let go of your thoughts and your worries.”
The worry most airplane passengers have is what holds the thing up in the sky and whether it will keep doing it for 11 hours, until the other side of the world arrives. No need to worry, says Coleman, and that’s true. There’s no point in rushing to arrive at a country that puts lemonade in its beer.
It turns out there’s a reason that, in the video, Coleman is so darn peaceful. He’s sitting in a British Airways plane, all right, but the rest of the cabin is empty. There’s nobody on the plane but him. And he’s sitting in business class, where the seats not only recline but lie flat. No wonder he’s breathing deeply.
The other thing that makes Coleman peaceful is that his plane isn’t moving. British Airways shot the mindfulness video while the A380 was parked at the gate. Not only does Coleman avoid the quiet rumbles and the little turbulences, he saves the $16,718 business-class airfare. And he need not worry about driving his car on the left and eating steak-and-kidney pie.
A British Airways spokesman said Coleman shot the videos as part of the airline’s debut last month of its A380 Airbus service from San Francisco to London. Mindfulness, the spokesman said, is big, and the British, after that little misunderstanding with us colonials in 1776, are always looking to make amends.
As for British Airways, it’s now the fourth airline to fly the airborne Titanicinspired packing crate A380 airplane into San Francisco. The two-story leviathan carries a staggering 469 passengers, all of whom get served British food for dinner, to get them ready for what’s coming.
“As we leave our longhaul flight , some of you may be going into meetings. Some of you may be going home to see relatives. Take a moment to mentally prepare yourself. Be present to whatever’s happening, without judgment.”
Coleman may be on to something. When it comes to relatives, the mindful thing to do is to leave your judgment on the other side of the ocean. The only thing more stressful than spending 11 hours getting someplace is having to deal with the people waiting for you when you get there.