Prayer can turn to panic at restaurant

Dear Abby: I’m comfortable with my faith and pray before a meal at home and at friends’ houses. We often eat at restaurants with friends from church. When the meal arrives, it has become a custom to pray. I feel uncomfortable praying aloud in public. My wife tells me to just go with it, but sometimes I start to get sweaty and on the verge of a panic attack. I wish they would consider that others may feel praying is a private matter. I don’t believe that because one person doesn’t want to do something, others shouldn’t do it. So when food comes, should I go to the restroom, or would that be rude?

Prefers Praying Privately

Dear P.P.P.: No rule of etiquette decrees that you must pray out loud if someone else chooses to. Because the situation makes you uncomfortable to the point of a panic attack, I think your solution to excuse yourself from the table for a few minutes is a good one — provided you say over your shoulder that no one should wait for you.

Dear Abby: Three years ago my mother died. Her house was sold and the money split among me and my two sisters. I opened a separate bank account for my share. My partner of 16 years thinks I was wrong to do that and still throws it in my face. I spent the money on my children, grandchildren, taxes, bills, a big flat-screen TV and stuff for him. (I also bought myself a pair of jeans.) I felt the money was my gift from my mom. I told my partner that when his parents die, whatever they leave him will be his. Your opinion, please, and no, he wasn’t close to my mom.

A Gift From My Mother

Dear Gift: Your partner ap- pears to be greedy and have an outsize sense of entitlement. If your mother had wanted your partner to get any of her estate, she would have put her wishes in writing.

Dear Abby: I went to my ex-husband’s uncle’s funeral. I wore a dark blue suit and white blouse. Several family members criticized me for not wearing black. I assumed that because I’m no longer a family member, that I wasn’t required to dress as one. Should I have worn black?

Divorcee In Pennsylvania

Dear Divorcee: No. You showed respect for the deceased by attending. Sometimes funerals (and weddings) bring out the worst rather than the best in people.

Write to Dear Abby at P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069 or www.dearabby.com.