Connectivity:
The ultimate fashionisto app.
It’s hard being a fashion-forward single in a dating world of traditionally minded dressers. Whether on an app or in person, first impressions are important, and complicated wardrobe choices can often cause confusion.
More than once, I’ve had to explain to a perfectly nice first date wearing a plain crewneck sweater that, yes, what I’m wearing is supposed to look like that: The designer intentionally added that third sleeve/deconstructed lapel/ what-looks-like-a-scorch-mark. Making a connection under these circumstances can be so difficult it’s enough to make you contemplate a trip to the Gap.
I recently conducted an experiment: I kept all of the information in my dating profiles the same, but changed the pic to one of me in a black, liquid latex-coated blazer by Andrea Cammarosano that never fails to get comments — the most frequent being that it resembles a tattered Hefty bag. Sometimes this is said appreciatively, but more often than not, it’s said with a sneer. For the record, I lovingly agree with that assessment (so does the Lanvin dress Tilda Swinton won her Oscar in), but when that trash-sack blazer became my lead image, my message rate fell sharply. The next day, I changed my profile pic to a photo of me in a white T-shirt, and the approaches immediately climbed back up.
In popular style terminology, these highfashion, apparently less approachable garments are known as “man repellers” (after Leandra Medine’s blog of the same name) but the repelling isn’t limited to men. After consulting with sartorially adventurous single friends of all persuasions, it became clear this is an issue across the spectrum. I heard horror stories about beautiful pieces by Dries Van Noten being dismissed for their “weirdness,” dates turning their noses up at experimental fabrication, and limited-edition accessories not just going unappreciated, but actually causing offense.
But what if there was an app that could help match the fashion forward with one another? The best parts of mobile dating and mobile styling could be combined into one super platform where chic could meet chic, and style risk-takers could find one another without wardrobe ridicule.
This fantasy fash-tech would turn the usual cliches about dating apps upside down. The pics of shirtless torsos that clutter many feeds would be banished in favor of fully concealed bodies, dressed, of course, in those experimental ensembles deemed too extreme for other dating
platforms. Finally, a place to use that picture of me in the 3-D bib tuxedo shirt that looks like a leftover costume from Klaus Nomi’s last tour! That 1920s satin jockey tunic can be brought out of storage! An entire section of my closet that’s perfect for when I cover fashion weeks but too outre for casual drinks can come out and date.
Instead of listing hobbies or turn-ons, users could list favorite shopping destinations, designers, style references and, for the truly advanced, specific collections that give them inspiration. If you love Alexander McQueen’s “The Girl Who Lived in a Tree” and Rei Kawakubo’s Comme des Garcons “bump” collections as much as I do, we may be meant for each other.
One of the benefits of same-sex dating is that if you find yourself in a relationship with a partner of a comparable body type, you can effectively double your wardrobe. This platform would be perfect for making those matches. For once, when guys asked “how big?” they’d mean your suit measurements.
My profile on this fantasy app would read as follows:
“American sample size seeks same for long walks through warehouse sales, Sundays spent poring over Style sections, and coordinated, but not matching, dressing. Must love the Antwerp Six (if you’re still upset over Ann Demeulemeester’s retirement we’re almost certainly a match), enjoy Costume Institute galas and discreetly advising people of the correct pronunciation of ‘Ralph Lauren’ (as you know, it’s pronounced like Ms. Hutton, or Ms. Bacall’s first name). If you remember where you were when you heard Galliano was coming out of exile, move to the front of the line! Name snobs, move on — since we know true style isn’t measured in prices or labels: It’s measured in fearlessness. Let’s get together and artfully clash plaid with stripes and coordinate our strategy for end-of-season clearances on Maiden Lane. If you’re a fan of monogrammed shirts, don’t worry about our initials matching: Incorrect personalization is going to be a thing in a couple years, so let’s lead the way! If thine love be true, I’ll even let you borrow a cape.”