The importance of math in everyday life
“People usually don’t think altitude is affecting them. But if you ask them to count backward from a hundred by sevens they have trouble.” — Pilot David Kunkel, in the New Yorker “Sir, I’m about to give you a field sobriety test. Do you understand what that means?” “Yes.” “I have chalked a line on the pavement right there, sir. Do you see the line?” “Yes.” “Then you just passed the test! Ha! Cop humor. No, sir, I want you to walk along that line toe to heel. Do you understand what I mean?” “I did it.” “Yes, sir, you did. Now I’m going to ask you to stand on one leg. Can you do that? Very good. Now I’m going to ask you to bend down and pick up that penny off the asphalt. Yes? Very good. Now I’m going to ask you to remain in that position, then slowly rotate your body until you are facing the opposite direction. Can you do that? Now I’d like to ask you to sing ‘ The StarSpangled Banner.’ Ha! Cop humor again.” “So I passed.” “You have done very well, sir. Now I must ask you to count backward from 150 by 11s.”
“Really? Well, uh, 141, and then —”
“I’m sorry, sir, you’re wrong already. I’m afraid I must book you for driving while intoxicated.”
“But I passed everything. I am clearly not intoxicated. You can’t mean, a silly old math problem —” “You trying for resisting arrest, too?” “But I was always terrible at math. I never knew what seven times eight was. That’s a hard one, right? And, you know, that’s a very old- math question. You should have asked me about Boolean algebra.”
“Just get in the car.”
“Mr. Foster, you’re here to defend your thesis today. Your topic is ‘ Certain Unilateral Dissymmetries and Linguic Substructures in the Early Work of Orson Scott Card.’ Let me ask first, is it your belief that the layering in ‘ Speaker for the Dead’ is sequential rather than —?” “Mr. Chairman, may I interrupt?” “Certainly, Ms. Peekskill.” “Mr. Foster, what is 56 times 19?” “What?” “Please bear with me. It’s a little test we use to discover whether the candidate is really conversant with the work of René Wellek.”
“I have no idea. I don’t even conceptualize in terms of hard numbers. I think it’s unfair even to ask —”
“We’re trying to determine, quite frankly, whether you have any intelligence at all. I ask you again, 56 times 19?”
“Nine times six is 54, carry the five, five times 1 is five, plus five, uh, 154.”
“Orders of magnitude wrong. Goodbye, Mr. Foster.”
“Mr. Wallbeck, you’re about to have a competency test. Do you understand what that means?”
“It’s for Alzheimer’s, isn’t it? My daughter keeps saying not to worry about it. But I know she’s terrified, so here I am. Unless I’m not here at all. Sorry, old person’s joke.”
“Yes. Can you tell me who the president of the United States is?”
“That’s easy. George Washington. No, sorry, another joke. It’s Barack Obama.” “And what day of the week is it?” “It’s Friday.” “Which of these words is not like the other: beach, sand, waves, monkey.”
“Well, they’re all on land except for the waves, so I’ll go waves.” “Waves?” “Come on, lighten up. I’m just trying to amuse myself. Obviously, monkey. OK?”
“No, really, just the right answer please. What year was the Treaty of Tordesillas signed?” “That would be 1494.” “How does your refrigerator work?”
“Well, the compressor constricts the refrigerant vapor, raising its pressure, and pushes it into the coils on the outside of the refrigerator. Then, when the hot gas in the coils meets the cooler air temperature of the kitchen, it becomes a liquid. Now in liquid form at high pressure —”
“That’s enough. Just two more items, Mr. Wallbeck. Traditionally, why does the bride stand to the left of the groom?”
“Probably something about that old marriageby- capture thing. It still happens in some countries, and ritualized capture is practiced all over Central Asia as well as on the Iberian Peninsula. I’m going to guess that it’s so the groom can have his right arm free, so he can wield his sword if need be. Is that close?”
“Pretty much. Now, could you count backward from 178 by 13s?”
“And this determines whether I have to go live in a home?” “Yes.” “Just that? Listen, I couldn’t count backward from 100 by sevens when that pilot asked me. He said it was because of the altitude, but I never could do that even at sea level. This is discrimination against people who are bad at math. What are you, some kind of monster?”
“Really, it’s better for everyone. Less strain on the family. Plus, they have a TV viewing room. Good luck!”
Uncovering the unknown testing procedure that’s trapping thousands in its web.