Wife never told him she was adopted

Dear Abby: I have been happily married for 30 years. Many years ago I found out, inadvertently, that my wife is adopted. (My wife has no siblings, and her parents died when she was in college.) Concerned that she might not know about it, I contacted senior members of her family, who all confirmed what I had heard and said my wife knows about it. I think it’s odd she never shared this with me. To the best of my knowledge, she has no idea that I know. I am having major heart surgery in the fall, and I would like to discuss before I do. I’m curious to hear your thoughts.

Left Out

Dear Left Out: Tell your wife what you learned, that you’re surprised she never mentioned it, and ask her why. It’s a fair question, and being adopted is nothing to be ashamed of.

Dear Abby: I am a college sophomore and have a boyfriend, although we keep our relationship to ourselves. I get asked out a few times a week by other boys. My boyfriend doesn’t mind that I have male friends, but my problem is the other boys are never direct about their intentions. Usually, they’ll say it’s to “hang out” or “grab dinner” — very casual, vague invitations. To accept would make me feel I’m leading them on somehow, but to refuse “because I have a boyfriend” would make it look as if I’m jumping to conclusions about them. Is there a polite way to tell someone that you’re seeing someone but would still like to be friends?

Jumping to Conclusions

Dear Jumping: Say it this way: “I’d love to, but, you know, I have a boyfriend. Would that be a problem for you?” If the boy says no, then go. If he hits on you after that, tell him you think he’s great, but you want to be friends and you’re not looking for another romance. If the boy respects you, he’ll accept it.

Dear Abby: I feel that the longer you go to the same hairdresser, the more she takes you for granted. The service gets worse. During my last haircut, my stylist answered the phone six times. I pay for my appointment, and it should be at least relaxing. Do your other readers have this problem?

Mike In New York

Dear Mike: I’m sure some of them have, unless they told the stylist they’re using they don’t like being treated that way. So speak up. As a paying customer, it is your privilege.