Nog knock-offs
Even the Grinch should avoid most faux nogs, but some versions rise above
A punch bowl filled with eggnog evokes Christmastime as much as ham or gingerbread. The ingredients are few: milk and cream, sugar, eggs and nutmeg, all spiked with bourbon or rum. The calories are high, but it’s the holidays, so nobody minds.
Consider this: What if you were to make eggnog without the eggs? Or the milk? Several companies are doing just that — with mixed results.
Scan the shelves of any major grocery retailer, and you’ll find eggnog alternatives made from almond, soy and even rice from brands including Almond Dream and Silk. Take a sip of one of the faux nogs — and then spit it out.
From gritty to saccharine to saddled with soy, the big national brands taste vaguely of eggnog, but explicitly terrible. An exception is So Delicious Dairy Free, a nationally distributed line of dairy-free products headquartered in Oregon. Made with organic coconut milk, it best approximates the texture of real milk. Sweetened with dried cane syrup and flavored only with nutmeg, it’s a close mirror of the classic, albeit very sweet.
Duplicating eggnog’s rich mouthfeel without using dairy or eggs is tricky for a handful of local juice companies that produce nog knockoffs made from nuts and seeds. The Winter Nog, available at Juice Shop, is made with chia seeds soaked in cashew milk, which gives the seeds an eggy texture, according to co-founder Ben Gulick. Gulick, who runs Juice Shop with brothers Jake and Charlie and Charlie’s wife, Lina, chose cashews over other nuts for their creaminess.
Describing a nut as “creamy” is an overstatement for anyone who drinks actual cream. Most juice shops, however, aren’t trying to imitate authentic eggnog but rather create festive, modestly indulgent beverages for those who can’t — or don’t want to — drink the real thing. Ryan Armistead, co-founder of Happy Moose Juice in San Francisco’s Mission District, makes his Merry Moostletoe with hemp seeds, coconut nectar, maple syrup and a medley of wintry spices. “We want people to think of the holidays,” says Armistead, “but we definitely want them to know it’s not the traditional eggnog
they’ve had since 1957.” Thin and fruity from the coconut, the nog is more like spicy water than milk. Armistead recommends it for recovery after a workout.
At Pressed Juicery, co-owner Hayden Slater purposely avoided using the word “nog” for his Spiced Almond drink made with almond milk, nutmeg, cardamom and cinnamon. “We didn’t want to confuse customers,” says Slater. “When you think eggnog, you think dairy and all those traditional ingredients.” Pressed does achieve a better texture than many other brands by straining the almond milk several times to reduce graininess.
Healthiness is key for the Gulicks of Juice Shop. They sprout the cashews before turning them into “milk,” which Charlie Gulick explains makes it easier to digest and absorb the nutrients. Chia seeds provide a dose of omega fatty acids. Like their competitors, the Gulicks sweeten their version primarily with dates rather than refined sugars.
If “healthy eggnog” seems oxymoronic, Charlie Gulick doesn’t mind if customers add booze. And if they overindulge, he points out that the electrolytes from the coconut and protein from the cashews and chia seeds might be the antidote: “It would be really awesome for a hangover.”
Bottom line: If you can drink real eggnog, go for it. If you can’t but want a similar experience, opt for So Delicious Dairy Free Nog made with coconut milk. If you just want a spicy drink and enjoy the taste of nut milk, you have some options from local juice shops. Avoid the rest.