Leah Garchik:
In honor of Valentine’s Day, the story of romance ( Part 1) through overheard conversations.
Hi. Sure. Hooray. So pleased. Wait a minute. Let’s talk. No. Yes. Forever. There it is, the story of romance in a nutshell. And below is the story of romance as told in real- life overheards.
Pickup strategies
“She’ll do anything to ensure a life of independence and solitude ... even if it means getting married.” ( Woman to woman, overheard at Triptych restaurant by Sean O’Donnell)
“You don’t have a partner and you’re OK with that?” ( Woman to woman, overheard on the 22- Fillmore by Adda Dada)
“Being alone is totally overrated.” ( Young woman to young man, overheard on Bridgeway in Sausalito by Dianne Boate)
“One shows love from their heart, and not with a heart embroidered on their panties.” Woman to woman, overheard in cashier’s line at Victoria’s Secret by Adda Dada
“I don’t think I could ever date a guy who drives a hybrid.” ( Woman to woman, overheard on 24th Street by Leonard Graff)
Man No. 1: “That guy is so cute, but he won’t give me the time of day.” Man No. 2: “It’s about 5: 30.” ( Overheard at the Edge in the Castro by Mark Abramson)
“Why can’t I be your gay partner?” ( Woman to man, overheard on Turk Street near USF by Niles Dolbeare)
“The power of a red dress attracts the wrong kind of guy.” ( Woman on cell, overheard on Battery Street by Betsy Doyle)
“Don’t misconstrue this as a pickup line, but what are you doing after you get off work?” ( Woman to bartender, overheard in Yosemite Valley by Sallie Sadler)
Ringing endorsements
“Let me show you my random hot guy.” ( Woman to woman, comparing Instagram photos, overheard at Stonestreet Winery by Abe Battat)
“I would recommend him for you, but I wouldn’t recommend you for him.” ( Woman to woman, overheard in Mill Valley by Jack Lloyd)
“I’ve known him since the days when I’d only had sex with two people.” ( Young woman to friends, overheard at 24th and Mission by Karen Rhodes)
“He’s got a gym body, but his head’s all weird and he has fake teeth.” ( Man on cell phone, overheard on BART by Theresa Larson)
Oh happy day
Woman 1: “Do you have any plans for Valentine’s Day?” Woman 2: “Oh, that’s the most overrated holiday.” ( Conversation overheard on BART by Richard Holden)
“You mean to tell me that the guy you’ve been ( making love to) for weeks might not even take you out for Valentine’s Day?” ( Woman on cell phone, overheard on Post Street by Chip Conradi)
“Rich people mate with poor people all the time! Haven’t you ever seen a romantic comedy?” ( Outraged guy to pal, overheard in College of Marin cafeteria by Michelle Gantos)
“I went to the worst Valentine’s party. There were only 11 people there and they were all couples.” ( Woman to woman, overheard on the N- Judah by Stewart Ingram)
“He paid for a threeweekend rope bondage course.” ( Young woman telling pal what she’d received for Valentine’s Day, overheard at the Cafe on Market by Roland Popp)
Man: “I talk so much because that’s how I love you.” Woman: “I don’t listen, but not for the same reason.” ( Couple in Santa Cruz, overheard on Valentine’s Day by John
Balawejder)
Getting turned on
“I love your chins! All three of them!” ( Man to woman, overheard at AT& T Park by Carmen Mendieta)
“Yes, you can definitely be in my bubble.” ( Young woman to date, overheard in Sarasota, Fla., by Roger Thornhill)
“So he was like totally doing me, and all I could think was like ... my arms are too fat for this!” ( Woman at the Arts Cafe on Geary, overheard by Tom Saunders)
“We’ve been on three dates. He’s fine. He’s hard- core OK.” ( Woman to woman, overheard at coffee shop on Polk by Gregory Davidson)
“We should do it before we do the wedding thing.” ( Woman to woman, overheard in Joaquin Miller Park by Ronald Berman)
He: “You really don’t know how to wash clothes?” She: “No, but I guess I could Google it.” ( Conversation overheard on Valencia Street by Michael Wheeler)
“So she likes you like a Facebook like, or really likes you?” ( Woman to woman, overheard at the Rock Bar by Ron Turner)
“I know he likes you. But you’re cousins.” ( Woman on cell phone at Orinda BART Station, overheard by Paul Slater)
Thursday, the relationship grows, and withers, and grows. Open for business in San Francisco, ( 415) 777- 8426. E- mail: lgarchik@ sfchronicle. com Twitter: @ leahgarchik