Deep thoughts, cheap shots & bon mots
Summing up Mr. Scully’s legacy: Vinny veni vidi voxi. My Latin is not muy tres
chic, but you get the idea. Baseball’s wise men (yes, they do ride camels) say all you have to do is make it to the playoffs, then it’s all a roll of the dice. The man who originated that philosophy is Billy Beane, and how has that worked for him?
Lady Gaga will perform at halftime of the Super Bowl in Houston. Help me out, what does she do? Magic tricks? Mime?
Personally, I think Lada Gaga’s career has gone downhill since she split with Lord Gaga.
Maybe Lady Gaga will bring up her favorite guy Tony Bennett for a duet of “God Bless America.” All together: “... to the oceans, bright with gold!”
Injuries can be beneficial, when timed correctly. Johnny Cueto’s groin tweak gave him an eight-day rest heading into the final week of the season and (one might hope) the playoffs.
Best of luck to Ronnie Lott in keeping the Raiders in Oakland, but I hope his grasp of economics is firmer than his grasp of demographics. He says losing the Raiders to another city would impact “even kids growing up who lose the chance to go to a game.” If you see a kid at an NFL game, it’s a kid who in 10 years will inherit dad’s corporation.
For this season’s baseball awards, how about “Quietest entry of a potential superstar — Jharel Cotton.” He’s a pitcher. For the A’s. In Oakland.
Under President Trump, will our country’s new motto be “No fat chicks”?
Pete Rose, what a touching plea he presented in his letter asking the Baseball Hall of Fame to induct him. The letter probably would have been more persuasive had he not written it on the back of a betting slip.
FIFA (Motto: “We’re running soccer into the ground!”) has announced that it will scrap its antiracism task force, since it is no longer needed. My sources tell me FIFA will also be scrapping of its anticorruption task force. Just as well. That group has been riddled with bribes, kickbacks and secret payoffs.
This isn’t really my department, but I help where I can: A possible solution to the leaning problem of the Millennium Tower — have all the fat people move to one side.
And isn’t that a cute new name for the restaurant in the Millennium Tower? Lean Cuisine.
At least they’re conserving energy at the Millennium Tower by deactivating the elevators. Now you just stand on the sidewalk and wait for your floor to come to you.