Barbara McSwain
Oct. 21, 1942 - Dec. 26, 2016
Barbara McSwain — whose grace, strength and unflinching curiosity about the human spirit combined to blaze a trail in the psychoanalytic community — died peacefully Dec. 26, with her four children by her side. She was 74.
Born Oct. 21, 1942 to Helen and Ernest Stadler, the younger of two daughters in a Columbus, Indiana, meat packing family, Barbara lived in the Bay Area for 50 years, building a career, finding love, anchoring a family and leaving a mark on nearly all who knew her. Guided by a pragmatic idealism, Barbara had the strength to leave Columbus behind but the sense to bring its values of humility, kindness and hard work with her to California. Her voice was never the loudest in the room but it was often the clearest, and her presence was always felt.
Professionally, Barbara will be remembered as a woman who battled for the right of non-medically trained therapists to practice psychoanalysis and help people improve their lives. Her career was defined by firsts, as she became the first non-medical trainee in Mt. Zion Hospital’s psychiatric emergency room, was a member of the first class at the San Francisco Psychoanalytic Institute that accepted non-physicians as regular candidates and later became the first — and to this date the only — licensed clinical social worker whom the American Psychoanalytic Association certified as a training analyst.
Barbara’s career was a testament to her life-long fascination with the human psyche and her powerful desire to help people. Those traits of profound curiosity and compassion were present in her private practice, which spanned decades and touched countless lives, and also in her work teaching and mentoring scores of psychotherapists, fueled by a belief that the remarkable tool of psychoanalysis should be available to the masses, not just an elite few.
Privately, she will be remembered by those who knew her best as a trusted and devoted friend, a nurturing and caring mentor, an inquisitive travel companion and an ever-present and loving mother and grandmother. Her children will also remember and forever tease Barbara for her devotion to health, from her spaghetti squash dinners to her passion for exercise through dance, running and yoga. Barbara loved art in all its forms, whether it came on a page, a canvas, a stage, or even a plate — as artistic expression helped quench her curiosity, each piece teaching her something about the human condition and how to understand it. She always looked to share these passions with her children and, later, her grandchildren.
Small in stature with a stylish tussle of white hair — she called it silver — and hazel eyes, Barbara was an intensely private person. But she also adored welcoming people into her home, cooking them a meal, pouring them a glass of wine and finding out what made them tick. A true therapist, Barbara went into every conversation looking to learn something new about people and the world they inhabited. Quick to laugh — especially at herself — with a dark, understated humor, Barbara brought a wealth of knowledge, insight and perspective to every discussion. She rarely kept opinions to herself, yet was easy to talk to.
Barbara’s personal life also came to be defined by courage, whether it was swallowing her own deeprooted fears to become a certified scuba diver with her 12-year-old son or facing five cancers spread across more than 30 years while carrying herself with grace no matter the indignities her illness threw at her. But Barbara’s life was also one of intense love, and nowhere was this more apparent than through her deep devotion to her husband Danny Greenson, whom she cherished and stood by.
And when it was her time to die, Barbara welcomed the end without fear or regret. She gathered her children around her and told them she was proud of each of them, that she loved them and that she’d had a really good, full life.
Survived by her older sister, Mary Elizabeth Stadler, her children — David, Jessica, Nikolas and Thadeus — and her grandchildren, Barbara will be horribly missed and fondly remembered. Her spirit will live on in the work of the thousands of non-medically trained people now practicing psychoanalysis, and in the lives she touched with her warmth, kindness and quirky sense of humor. Barbara’s family will be holding a private celebration to honor her life. Donations can be made in her memory to Planned Parenthood.