Fiance’s lazy ways giving woman second thoughts

Dear Abby: My fiance, “David,” and I are getting married soon. We have been living together and engaged for a year, and together eight years. It takes him forever to get things done around the house or buy things we need. I have tried lists and constant reminders. David recently lost his job and is interviewing to find another one. He loves sports, so he plays softball on the weekend. When he comes home, he wants to watch sports on TV. The house is old, and there’s always something that needs doing or fixing. When I ask him to help, he says he’ll get to it eventually. I told him he needs to grow up and start shouldering responsibilities. This is causing our relationship to suffer. I have been wanting to see a marriage counselor, but David refuses. I’m afraid I’m walking into a trap and the rest of my life will be one in which he has all the fun and I do all the housework. Help! Sees the Writing on the Wall Dear Sees: I’ll try. Before entering into a marriage, couples should have premarital counseling. Please understand that at this point in your relationship, he should still be on his best behavior. This may be the way he handles — or more accurately avoids — responsibility. I recommend you put the wedding on hold a little longer and talk with a counselor. If he’s unwilling to go, please do not let it hold you back. You will find it valuable. Dear Abby: My husband of 11 years and I have a running argument. I say a man should walk curbside. My husband insists that in the military, the higherranking officer always walks on the right. He says he “honors” me by doing so. I am grateful to have such a loving, caring spouse, but I’m not comfortable with this. Your insight would be appreciated. California Pedestrian Dear Pedestrian: You were taught traditional rules of good manners. One of them is that when men and women walk on the street together, the man should stay toward the curb. Because you’re uncomfortable with your husband’s show of chivalry, you should explain that to him. And if he continues because it has become a reflex, all you have to do is remind him and I’m sure he’ll accommodate you.