Waters to unleash his holiday horrors
John Waters gives the holidays a naughty twist with his longrunning one-man show “A John Waters Christmas,” which is back on the road this month. The filmmaker behind cult classics such as “Hairspray,” “Serial Mom” and “Pink Flamingos” offers his take on a long list of holiday traditions, touching on everything from the effrontery of giving gift cards as presents to the horror of living nativity scenes. The part-time San Francisco resident, 71, spoke to us from his home in Baltimore.
Q: This has been a terrible year. What if I’m not in the mood to celebrate Christmas? A: My show is a good thing for that. People are dreading going home this year because of their political differences. My advice to everyone is bring whistles. Anytime someone talks about politics, you blow the whistle. Eventually everyone will start laughing. You’re not going to change anybody’s mind. We’re in a civil war. Q: I know you have been making your own Christmas cards since 1964. Is there anyone you dropped from
your list because they voted for Trump? A: No, I’m open-minded. Most of my Republican friends say they didn’t vote for Trump but they didn’t vote for Hillary either, so I don’t know who they voted for. I don’t want to know. Everyone is so cut-anddry. Who knows? Everyone will get through Christmas, unless we hear air-raid sirens. Q: Does it feel like people are more easily offended now than they were 20 years ago? A: What I say in my Christmas show is more rude than ever. Nobody gets mad because I make fun of things I love. And I’m not mean. Q: You have been doing this Christmas show for more than 10 years. How do you keep it fresh? A: I rewrite it every July. I have lots of new material, but I have to upgrade it because it feels like 50 new things happen every day. Q: When you’re out on tour, do you often cross paths with other Christmas performers like the Trans-Siberian Orchestra, Dave Koz and Johnny Mathis? A: Johnny Mathis, yes. We’re friends now because I wrote about him in my book and he took it well. I recently had dinner with him. I think we should switch shows. I can come out and sing “Winter Wonderland” and he can come out and talk about reindeer testicles. Q: In your show, you also suggest opening a new sex club that encourages gay men and lesbians to have sex with each other for the very first time. A: It’s called Flip Flop. It’s a new strain of heterosexuality that encourages people to face their fear — frightened semen meets reluctant vagina. If I was going to open it, I would definitely do it in San Francisco. I still can’t believe you have a place called Blow Buddies.
“A John Waters Christmas”: 8 p.m. Tuesday, Nov. 28. $55-$125. Great American Music Hall, 859 O’Farrell St., S.F. www.slims presents.com