Teen is tempted to cut ties with divorced parents and start fresh

Dear Abby: I’m an 18-year-old guy who’s having troubles regarding my family. After my parents divorced, I flipped back and forth between living with Mom and Dad. I moved into my mother’s after an argument with my stepmom, who insists that I call her “Mother.” I don’t consider her my mother. My father is an alcoholic and was completely impaired when he married her. I’ve never forgiven him. When I visit, I can’t help but feel no longer welcome. My mother (a hypocritical tiger mom) made my high school career so stressful it pushed me into severe depression, so I spoke to a doctor who prescribed medication and gave me therapist referrals. Since I moved out, I’ve never been happier. I have been thinking about starting a new life on my own with no thought of my family past. Advice? Breaking Away Dear Breaking: For your stepmother to demand that you call her “Mother” was wrong. She is not and never will be your mother. For your mother to have pushed you to succeed academically is normal when a parent thinks her child has potential that isn’t being realized. That she was so heavy-handed that it had the opposite effect is very sad. If you would like to move away and start a new life, no one can stop you. At 18, you are considered an adult. But I do not think it would be healthy for you to do it without mending fences, if possible. Running away will not have the effect you’re looking for because your family will still be living in your head. Dear Abby: I believe my wife is egocentric. She has five framed pictures of herself around the house. Even the wallpaper on her tablet is of herself. If we have a disagreement about anything, she won’t talk to me for days. It’s ruining our 2½-year marriage.

Mystified in the South Dear Mystified: Yes, be less quick to judge her because of the photos she keeps around the house. The reason may have less to do with egocentricity than insecurity.

What's destroying your marriage isn't the pictures; it’s your wife's inability to fight fair. Her silent treatment is emotionally abusive; it's not a healthy way to solve a disagreement. A marriage and family therapist may be able to help the two of you communicate more effectively. If your wife won't agree to it, go alone.