Her workplace flirtation cools after his ex returns

Dear Abby: I have a crush on a guy I work with. I’m 19, and he’s 26. He has a kid, which actually doesn’t bother me. I love kids and have taken care of them most of my life. My problem is he has this ex who wants to get back together with him. They broke up because she was staying out all night and cheating. He used to flirt with me and text me all the time and offer me his hoodie. Now she’s sort of back in the picture, and he ignores me and doesn’t return my texts. But when we see each other, he starts flirting again, and we just click. I guess my question is, should I tell him how I feel or just keep it to myself ? Should I risk everything and go for it?

Uncertain in New York Dear Uncertain: Announce your feelings if you wish, but do not expect him to drop everything and rush to you. If he were interested in more than a workplace flirtation, he would be paying the same kind of attention to you that he did before. Because he isn’t, you need to understand that he and his ex obviously have some unfinished business together, regardless of her history of infidelity. Set your sights on someone else. Dear Abby: All my mom does is talk about work. If we are having a conversation, she links every topic to her work and her co-workers. It is alienating my sister and me. When we tell her things about our kids — her grandkids — she still relates it to work. She’s constantly on her tablet for work or on Facebook. I live seven hours away from her. When we make the drive down, I don’t want to watch her on her tablet. If we try to confront her on anything, all she does is cry. She’s so negative that it’s difficult to want to talk to her. Where do I even start?

Missing Her While She’s Here Dear Missing: Rather than “confront” your mother, ask her what may have changed in her life since she took that job. Her focus may have shifted because that’s the center of her activity. As to her “hiding” behind Facebook rather than carry on a conversation with you, like many people, she may have become addicted to it and unable to tear herself away. However, you will never know unless you ask her calmly. Dear Abby: I’ve gone to licensed mental health professionals on and off since I was 7. What do you do when talking to a therapist doesn’t work?

Wants to Know in New Mexico Dear Wants: Sometimes a combination of talk therapy and medication can be more helpful than talk therapy alone. Because the many years of talk therapy alone haven’t been effective, consult a psychologist who works with a psychiatrist, who can prescribe medications that may help you.