Wall had words of wisdom for Howard

What up?

Bob Myers apparently did phone Dwight Howard. But Myers just wanted the name of Howard’s tailor.

Howard says he decided to sign with Washington instead of Golden State after getting a seven-word Instagram from John Wall. My guess: “There’s no full-length mirror in Warriors’ locker room!”

Derek Carr brags he dunked on Khalil Mack in a game of pool basketball. Your quarterback and your linebacker going at it in pool basketball — what could go wrong? #MadBum

I know Jon Gruden can’t take sides publicly in a contract dispute, but if I’m Mack, I’d like to hear more praise from my head coach and less “Eh.”

Jim Harbaugh told one of his Michigan quarterbacks to stop eating chicken because the chicken is a nervous bird. I guess Harbs put the kid on a bald-eagle diet.

Harbaugh, of course, eats nothing but jerky and nuts.

Note to readers emailing their objection to NFL protestors: When you characterize the protestors as dumb and ungrateful, that’s code for, “I’m a fan who demands that these guys shut up and entertain me, or else I’ll be so outraged I’ll pretend to stop watching NFL football.”

A’s President Dave Kaval tells our Matier & Ross that a ballpark at Howard Terminal would lead to safety features along the railroad tracks and eliminate the need for irritating train whistles. Train whistles are the coolest feature of that neighborhood.

Kaval says the A’s will start using bats made with softer wood, to eliminate the annoying crack of the bat.

Slam magazine would have us believe that 13-year-old LeBron James Jr.’s dunk off a bounce-lob to himself (a Twitter sensation) was Bronny’s first dunk. That’s like saying the infant Abraham Lincoln’s first words were the Gettysburg Address.

However, Bronny, going into eighth grade, might become the first middle-school oneand-done.

“Congress must give us more money for the wall or I will shut down the government.” What’s the fuss? I thought Ron Mexico was going to pay for the wall.