‘ Housewives’ bypasses S. F., heads to Utah
When one conjures an image of a wildly wealthy woman, swathed in bling and pumped full of lip filler, one rarely pictures someone from Utah, but the latest series in Bravo’s “Real Housewives” franchise promises viewers just that.
“The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City,” premiering Wednesday, Nov. 11, marks the 10th spinoff to the reality television phenomenon that launched with the “Real Housewives of Orange County” in 2006. And the six newest Housewives — Lisa Barlow, Mary Cosby, Heather Gay, Meredith Marks, Whitney Rose and Jen Shah — are fully prepared to deliver the drama.
Confession: I’m a “Real Housewives” fan, coming to know many of these women through slickly edited footage of their fancy lives and dry family dynamics. After years of tuning in, I’ve always wondered why Bravo executives have never set a series in San Francisco.
Selecting a city for the franchise is a complicated endeavor, and one that bombed for spinoffs set in Washington, D. C., and Miami. In fact, rumors have swirled for years that Bravo executives have considered casting a show in the Bay Area, but for reasons known only to them, it never came together. Naturally, I have some theories. Two Bravo reality series set in San Francisco were flops. 2015’ s “Million Dollar Listing: San Francisco,” one of the cable network’s other franchises centered on highend real estate agents, lasted only one season. Episode titles included “Fight in Bernal Heights” and “Carry on, Hayward Son.” I found it just as interesting as any other “Million Dollar Listing” show, but basic cable producers are a fickle bunch.
There was also 2012’ s “StartUp: Silicon Valley,” which looked at the private lives of young and gorgeous internet entrepreneurs. This show had less to do with angel investors and app development and more with sexy people throwing wild parties in San Francisco. And as many sexy people and sexy parties as there are in the City by the Bay, we’re hardly Ibiza.
I also suspect that the “Real Housewives of San Francisco” never came to fruition because we, as a region, think it’s generally uncool to display one’s wealth
with smug pride. Really rich San Franciscans wear puffy vests and understated sneakers. Even the highsociety types, with labelheavy designer duds, don’t possess the willing desperation required to toss a glass of Cabernet at a “dear friend” over lunch at Boulevard while millions watch.
Wealthy people who need that kind of attention don’t typically choose to live in or around San Francisco, a region that notoriously shuts down at 10 p. m. with a wellreviewed book and a Heath Ceramics mug of organic tea.
The “Real Housewives” franchise was codeveloped by producer and host Andy Cohen, the Louis B. Mayer of reality television at this point. Cohen is such a vital part of the franchise that one New Jersey housewife stormed off the set because she wasn’t seated next to him to tape that year’s “TellAll Reunion” special. Cast members are selected based on what appears to be a recipe of ostentatious wealth ( or the appearance thereof ) and a willingness to have a breakdown in front of America on a weekly basis. Again, these aren’t the usual tenets of a Pacific Heights doyenne.
After all, each and every “housewife” can easily be replaced for committing the reality star’s cardinal crime: being boring.
Becoming a housewife can mean big money if a cast member plays her cards right. Some of the most famous “wives” — Bethenny Frankel, Ramona Singer and Sonja Morgan of “New York City” to name a few — have launched products ranging from Pinot Grigio and pumps to toaster ovens and cannoli. We’ve also seen some of the women go through divorce, family loss, financial ruin, serve time in federal prison and, in one tragic case, end her life. In many ways, the “Real Housewives” series gets frighteningly real.
Curiously — and I use this word because I am genuinely curious to see how this goes — religion plays a key role in the “Real Housewives of Salt Lake City.” Not all of the wives are Mormon, as one might expect. Faiths represented on the show include Pentecostal, Muslim and Jewish, and attaining physical and spiritual perfection in the eyes of God appears to be a big requirement to Salt Lake City living. I’ve seen a screener of the series premiere, which includes lots of church music and one lady who is married to her stepgrandfather. You can say organized religion is this spinoff’s seventh housewife.
Also seen on this new series: Everyone’s wearing animal fur.
Cohen recently told fans on Twitter that the new show is surprisingly good. This comes as a shock to most “Real Housewives” fans because, again, it’s set in Utah. But as it turns out, Salt Lake City has at least six loud, noticeably rich women who are happy to put their town on the “Real Housewives” map of mascara tears, margaritas and demands that their enemies “own it.”
For those of us who settle into a Bravo show with a bit of embarrassed envy and a whole lot of schadenfreude, this new installment offers a promising new distraction.