Let news on friend’s lost cat out of the bag

Dear Miss Manners: A friend of mine is staying with me, and he went home for Thanksgiving, leaving his cat here. Well, I woke up the first morning after he left and the cat is gone.

It is common for us to leave the doors open, but the cat has never run off until now. Do I call my friend and tell him over the phone? Or do I wait till he gets back, hoping the cat will return in the meantime?

Gentle Reader: Have you thought of something to say when your friend returns and says, “Thanks for taking care of Tinkerbell. I bet he’ll be glad to see me. Tinkerbell, where are you?” No?

Then Miss Manners suggests that you get busy putting up posters around the neighborhood. She will give you a day or two before confessing to your friend, but after that you must break the sad news.

Dear Miss Manners: My wife and I were invited for Thanksgiving dinner at a new friend’s home. We were asked to bring a dish.

At the end of a delightful evening, we were asked to take home the leftover food we brought. We thought that was inappropriate and rude.

Gentle Reader: Funny the complaints that Miss Manners usually gets are from people whose leftovers were kept by the hosts. Or snatched by other guests.

For a holiday that is supposed to be associated with hospitality and inclusiveness, Thanksgiving apparently inspires a lot of unseemly squabbling.

Nor is it in keeping with the spirit of the occasion to assume that your hosts (who might have had an overstuffed kitchen) were just waiting until the end of the delightful meal for the chance to insult you.

Send questions to Miss Manners’ website: www.missmanners.com; to her email address: dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail: Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.