‘En un año bisiesto,’ many things go wrong
Una mañana Canutito was busy studying the calendar que Grama Cuca kept en la pared de la cocina. As he studied el calendario ,he said, “I was just noticing que este año es un leap year; that means que hay un día extra this year.”
“That’s right, m’hijo,” Grama Cuca said as she put unas tortillas frescas en la mesa. “Es un año bisiesto. On leap years we used to say: ‘En año bisiesto hay munchas desgracias.’ ”
“On leap year, many things go wrong,” Canutito translated. “¿Qué clase de cosas can go wrong, grama?” Canutito asked.
“Well, for starters,” Grampo Caralampio said, entrando en la cocina, “on leap year el día extra es el 29th of February. En ese día, las mujeres pueden hacer propose mariage a los hombres.”
“Really, grampo?” Canutito asked him. “Can women really ask men to casarse con ellas en un año bisiesto?”
“Sí,” grampo said and then he added, “If that isn’t una desgracia then I don’t know what is.”
Grama Cuca threw him visage from the other side de la cocina.
“Haven’t you noticed, m’hijo,” grampo continued as he ignored grama’s dirty look, “que este año the weather has been muy extraño? Es un año murre caliente and the last time que hubo un leap year, el año estaba todo frío.”
“I have noticed que este año has been very hot,” Canutito agreed, “pero yo no sabía que during the last año bisiesto the weather was totally cold.”
“Let me tell you,” Grampo Caralampio went on, “It got tan frío last leap year que cuando las personas hablaban, las palabras would freeze en el aire.”
“That’s silly,” Canutito smiled. “How could it have been so cold que the words that people spoke se helaban in the air?”
“It’s true,” Grama Cuca teased as she put a bowl of atole en la mesa, “Las palabras froze and they didn’t thaw out hasta la primavera. In the spring you could hear una platicadera everywhere de lo que people had said in the winter.”
Canutito smiled when he thought of hearing palabras that people had spoken, actually being pronunciadas when they got desheladas in the spring.
“Y eso no era ni the strangest thing que pasó en ese año bisiesto,” Grampo Caralampio continued. “That same cold leap year yo me acuerdo que I was walking pa’la plaza to go to the post office like I used to do todos los días. I could feel these strange little balls rolling down through inside de mis calzones. Yo hacía shake mis pant legs pero I couldn’t see nada come out por debajo. I would walk otro poquito y otra vez I could feel estas bolitas invisibles rolling down mi pierna por adentro de mis pant legs. I would shake again pero — nada.”
“What was it, grampo?” Canutito asked him. “Had some ratoncitos climbed inside your calzones and you didn’t know it?”
“Well,” grampo said, as he sat down en la mesa pa’comer atole con tortillas frescas, “then next spring cuando había hecho warm up a little I was walking pa’la estafeta again and I could smell these awful odors como poop. That’s when I realized that the strange bolitas that had rolled down mis calzones eran peditos helados.”
“Really grampo?” Canutito laughed, “Had they really been frozen farts?”
“Sí, m’hijo,” grampo said. “Eran pedos helados left over from leap year. So you see, m’hijo there really are munchas desgracias on leap year.”
“One of those desgracias,” Grama Cuca said, “es que I just lost mi apetito.” She got up de la mesa and walk away con un upset stomach. …
‘¿Qué clase de cosas can go wrong, grama?’ Canutito asked.
‘On leap year,’ Grampo Caralampio said, ‘el día extra es el 29th of February. En ese día, las mujeres pueden hacer propose mariage a los hombres.’