10 ways to make 2019 brilliant

With so many articles advising what you should not do to have a better year in 2019, where do you begin? First, ignore all of those “shoulds.” Instead, clearly align with what you choose to do.

Second, our brains do not handle “do not” very well.

We are much more successful when framing things from the perspective of what to do rather than what not to do.

Here are 10 actions that you might choose to do to build more cooperation, peace and satisfaction in 2019.

1. Focus on what you want, not on what you don’t want. Your communication with your children will be clear. You will also begin to notice that you are receiving more of what you want.

2. Repair upsets. Make amends. Model this powerful lesson for your children.

3. Embrace your imperfections. There is no one among us who is perfect. Our imperfections make us unique.

Even if you wish to improve on some aspect of yourself, embrace your imperfections as a part of who you are right now. A book by Brene Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are ,isa great place to start.

4. Practice vulnerability. Vulnerability is strength. Brene defines vulnerability as “uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure.” It is “the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy and creativity.”

Check out her book The Power of Vulnerability.

5. Know that you are not alone. We are all in this together.

6. Make being close more important than being right. When being right is a top priority, we distance ourselves from the very people we desire to be close to. When this is happening, consider what you love about the other person.

Respond from a place of treasuring your relationship over being right. Be patient with yourself as you practice this.

7. Listen to and learn from your feelings. By feeling your feelings — not necessarily expressing them — you will learn a great deal. Feeling your feelings allows them to dissipate rather than stagnate.

8. Allow your children to say no. You are still in charge when you allow your children this option. Children who can say no grow into adults who can say no.

Follow a “no” with a question such as, “What will you do instead to assist? Will you wash the dishes or clear off the table?”

The word “no” does not have to be a trigger. Guide your children beyond the “no” by offering choices.

9. Be clear on the qualities that you value as a parent. What qualities matter the most to you? Choose three. Use them as a guide for how you respond.

10. Know that you can begin again in any moment. If there is an argument, power struggle or an upset, agree to begin again.