Fiancé’s actions eroding trust
Dear Annie: My fiancé and I want to go back to the way we were, but it is more of a struggle for me than for him. We are planning to get an apartment together, but it is hard for me to be around him without getting upset. I have been going through a lot lately, and finding out that my fiancé was lying to me was one of the worst things that has happened. At first, it was something minor, and I just chose to keep my mouth shut, but the next morning he was on his phone, and I saw pictures of naked women that he tried to hide fast. I tried to get the truth out of him, but he lied.
We went to the lake to talk about it, and it just kept escalating. He’s been doing it for seven months. I found out and was actually contacting someone to get these pictures. This is cheating, isn’t it? He also had multiple accounts for stuff like that which he had to pay for. He promised not to do it again, but I struggle to believe it when he continues to lie to me about different things. I want to move on and be happy with him, but when something similar comes up, I break down. What should I do? — Confused and Lost.
Dear Confused and Lost:
Of course, you break down when something similar happens. It is unacceptable for your fiancé to lie to you and have other women send him naked pictures. Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me. The best way to move on and be happy with him is to go to counseling together.
You can’t build a successful marriage if there is a lack of trust. Stay firm with your boundaries in the relationship. Until that’s settled, don’t marry the bum. Best of luck to you both.
Dear Annie: If you can, then please refer the woman who wrote about her 15-year-old daughter steadily gaining weight to a podcast called Half Size Me and the host, Heather Robertson. She also has an excellent podcast called Healthy Parents, Healthy Families, and the information therein could prevent the diet/binge cycle many of us have struggled with since our teenage years. Heather has an amazing perspective on this specific topic of having extra weight as a teenager. My general overview is that her work shares with listeners how to maintain and stop gaining weight without restricting calories and continuing the diet/ binge cycle. — Stephanie
Dear Stephanie: Thank you for your recommendation. Especially as we are bombarded with information and sales tactics to “lose weight fast” and “burn holiday calories,” it’s important to block out the negative and harmful ads and instead find a supportive health and wellness program that works for us as individuals.
Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com. To find out more about Annie Lane and read features by other Creators Syndicate columnists and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www. creators.com.