Santa Fe New Mexican

Wife is too controllin­g

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Dear Annie: My wife and I get along well for the most part, but not all the time. She is a control freak who insists on knowing where I am going and what I am doing every second.

She is also obsessed with money and needs to be in control of my spending. Recently, I helped a couple out because their furnace broke and they didn’t have the money for repairs. I loaned them the funds they needed, and my wife got mad about it. I explained that it was during the middle of winter and they had just had a baby, but that didn’t matter.

They had borrowed money from both of their parents and still came up short. Yet my wife was furious that I had loaned them money, and she demanded that they pay me back right away.

I feel she is more in love with money than I am. I feel the marriage is over, and I want a divorce.

In the meanwhile, I have found a new love and am in a new relationsh­ip with someone who wants me and not money.

What do you feel I should do? I’m not sleeping.

My wife and I don’t even sleep together anymore. Any ideas on how to handle this? — Lost Husband

Dear Lost Husband: You might feel lost because your wife is so controllin­g, but you went behind her back and had an affair. Before you met another woman, you owed it to your wife to have a conversati­on about why you wanted to quit the marriage. The case you made against her certainly sounds compelling.

You could sit down and tell her that it is over and you want a divorce.

Dear Annie: My husband and I are having marital problems because of his adult daughter (my stepdaught­er). I want to limit informatio­n that he shares with her about our finances, problems and life in general, but he refuses. I have dealt with the issue for many years, but recently the private informatio­n he told her was inappropri­ate. We have been married for 25 years, and he said that if we are to remain married, he and his daughter are a “package deal.” He says I’m being unreasonab­le.

How do I handle this? I love him, but he refuses to respect my privacy — not to mention the fact that he prefers his relationsh­ip with his daughter over his marriage to his wife. — Stepmother

Dear Stepmother: I know that you love him, and you are correct that he should not share intimate details about your marriage with anyone. But don’t forget that his daughter loves him very much, and he loves his daughter, so instead of trying to drive a wedge through their relationsh­ip, maybe have more compassion toward the fact that they have a close relationsh­ip.=

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