Without close friends, what are we?
Whether you call them your BFF, close confidant, an acquaintance or your bestie — everyone has that one person they trust with their lives. A best friend is quintessential in survival of the harder times of life.
Having someone to share in the joyous times as well as the trying times — who isn’t necessarily family, although they can be and eventually feel like family — is such a reassuring feeling. In addition to having someone to ask about relationships and what to wear for an event, you have someone you can confide in. There is more than meets the eye with a best friend, much more.
Personally, I’ve relied on the same three friends for all of middle school and high school up to now. Ana, Fernanda and Leslie are by far my favorite people, and I’m so thankful we all met. This week, it’s Fernanda’s birthday, which is part of what inspired me to write this piece (happy birthday, Fernanda!). We’ve been there for the awkward parts of growing up, through hormonal mood swings. We’re pros at sitting in the same room quietly and just enjoying each other’s presence. But we’ve also been through chaos together many times and still are grateful just to have one another.
While some think that astrological signs are what bond us, others think fate is at hand, and some just go with the flow. Either way, a best friend is someone who you can build off of, someone from whom you can adopt habits and mannerisms from but also just admire — and vice versa.
While there is a pipeline of sorts from friends to lovers, there is no particular need for a friendship to evolve into more. Platonic relationships are crucial to have; being able to be completely comfortable with someone and love them dearly in a nonromantic way is not only a great sign of maturity but also just fun, and in the long run, may positively affect mental health.
With friendships do come arguments, but there is a difference between an argument between two people and two friends. A friend will be able to act rationally through how dearly they hold the other to their heart. We’ve all heard of the stereotypical, high school, petty fights about boys or someone blaming a friend for spreading a rumor about us, but a true and meaningful relationship can and should bounce back from all that relatively easy.
Some believe each person has one soulmate. I believe we may all have multiple. I know I do. But what even is a soulmate? Many believe it is someone we match with perfectly and have no complaints about — however, I believe a true soulmate is someone we can see flaws in and try to help them with said flaws and vice versa. One’s “other half ” should be different from the person they complete, the yin to someone’s yang. I believe some of the best yin-yang connections aren’t romantic, but found in the friendships we pour so much time and soul into.
Nostalgia also plays a big part in friendships. Even at 15, I can get choked up thinking about, say, the memories I have with my best friend from kindergarten. I can only imagine what it will be like in 30 years — will we still talk? Will we be a part of each other’s lives? I truly hope so.
Watching my friends grow up alongside me is also a beautiful thing. We’ve gone from asking our parents to take us to the mall every other weekend to being able to drive there ourselves
— it’s astonishing. Memories with these special humans are also priceless, running around in matching pajamas or making funny faces in the photo booth at the mall have become core memories. Anyone should be able to recall laughing with their friends to the point of crying or to where no sound is actually produced; as Lorde once sang in “Ribs”: “You’re the only friend I need … laughing till our ribs get tough.”
All that being said, happy birthday to my best friend — Fernanda, you’re 16 and today is all about you. And to all the best friends out there, I wish you all the best; you deserve it.