Closed-minded guests could upset holidays

Dear Annie: I’m a newly married 32-year-old woman, and my husband is

31. We’ve been married for three months, and we’re both really excited to share the holiday season together for the first time as husband and wife.

My childhood family is very small. I only have my mom and sister nearby and a brother who lives 2,000 miles away. My sister has been married to her husband for three years, and every year we have been celebrating holidays with my sister, her husband, his parents and my mom. Things have been fine up until last year.

My brother, who lives across the country, came out here for a month during the holidays. My brother is the different one in a family of conservative Christians. He is a homosexual liberal; he is still very loved nonetheless. My brother-in-law’s parents have never met him before. Knowing how they feel about gay people, he has never come out and told them he’s gay. But they must have discussed him and figured it out on their own, because two days before Christmas last year, they told us they were not coming because they couldn’t be around someone with “his views and lifestyle.”

Of course, we were hurt and very offended because he is a member of our family. Anyway, my husband is not religious, but he is a wonderful, sweet man and the most incredible husband. He and I have decided to host Christmas this year at our new house, and my brother-in-law’s parents will be there. I’m worried they will be rude to my husband once they discover his lack of religion.

My mother-in-law and I are very close, so she of course knows about the whole situation that happened last year and is ready to stick up for us both; however, I’m hoping that won’t be necessary — although given the way they are, I’m truly expecting the worst. Any advice on how to handle the situation if that does in fact happen?

— Worried Wife in Mississippi Dear Worried Wife: Try not to anticipate a fight before it even happens. Everyone might love that you are hosting and all get along. It is Christmas, for goodness’ sake. One rule of thumb to avoid arguments during the holidays is to agree not to discuss religion or politics.