Adult son resists rent demands from parents

DEAR ABBY: Should a 23-year-old son pay room and board even though he spends little time at home and eats out often? He doesn’t do laundry or help around the house. His argument is, we shouldn’t take money so he can save and buy a condo.

We are middleclass people and, at times, some bills are hard to pay. Our 20-yearold daughter contributes $100 a week, but she earns considerably more than he does. He is laying a guilt trip on us, and now I’m questioning whether our daughter should pay if he doesn’t. Your advice will help us clarify how the household should run. -TEMPORARILY

CONFUSED MOM

D E A R TEMPORARILY CONFUSED: Your adult children should both contribute because the income is needed. Since your son earns less than your daughter and can’t afford to pay as much as she does, perhaps he should pay the same PERCENTAGE of his income as his sister. However, if that’s not feasible, he should absolutely be doing chores around the house to make up for it. The longer you coddle him, the heavier his guilt trips will become and the greater your frustration will be.

DEAR ABBY: I was recently invited to a potluck baby shower. I have also been invited to potluck weddings! I always thought the point of a shower/ wedding was providing for your guests while they provide gifts. Food is not expensive, and if money is an issue, one could schedule a shower outside of mealtimes, or with simple tea and cookies. I’d appreciate your thoughts on this. -- POTLUCK BABY SHOWER

DEAR POTLUCK: My thought is: If the concept of a potluck baby shower or wedding is offensive to you, rather than judge, you should send your regrets.