Wife can’t convey uncertainty of pregnancy to husband

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been together for eight years, married for two. We recently started discussing having a family. I have polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS), and it may be difficult for me to get pregnant. I suffered a miscarriage earlier this year. Until it happened, I didn’t realize how badly I wanted a baby.

We both feel we are ready to be parents. However, I’m terrified that I won’t be able to conceive or that I’ll lose the baby again. My husband is so optimistic. He thinks everything will be fine and, as soon as we decide to get pregnant, it will happen. I have tried explaining PCOS to him, but he seems oblivious to what could be our reality.

I don’t know how to get through to him so he won’t be severely disappointed if having biological children isn’t in the cards for us. Do you have any suggestions? -- TROUBLED IN TENNESSEE

DEAR TROUBLED: Please accept my sympathy for your miscarriage. Because you haven’t been able to get through to your husband that the road to parenthood may be bumpy, enlist the assistance of your OB/ GYN or your fertility specialist to explain it to him. That way, if what you fear is true, you can better support each other. I wish you both good luck on this journey.

DEAR ABBY: My dad has a hearing problem. Every night he nods off in his recliner. When it’s time for me to go to bed and I turn the TV off, he turns it right back on instead of just going to bed like he should. I’m one of those people who needs quiet in order to fall asleep. Abby, this has been going on since I moved in here with my parents. I have done everything I can think of, but he just keeps doing it and I’m about ready to explode. -- IRRITATED DAUGHTER

DEAR DAUGHTER: Have you tried enlisting your mother’s help in getting through to your father? Have you tried earphones for him and earplugs for you? If the answer to these questions is yes, then you are either going to have to adjust or, for the sake of your health and sanity, find another place to live.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married to a wonderful man for 46 years. The only disagreement we have had during all this time is my hairstyle. Growing up, I had curly (kinky) hair, for which I was bullied and teased. I feel secure and safe when I straighten it. He loves it curly.

I feel insecure and sad when I try to make him happy. Because I feel so much better with straight hair, I don’t think I can honor his wishes. To some people, this may seem trivial, but it’s a major issue in our home. I would appreciate your advice. -- “HAIRDON’T” OUT WEST

DEAR “HAIRDON’T”: My advice is, to thine own self be true. If you feel depressed and insecure with curly hair, then you should not feel forced to wear it that way. It’s your head and your feelings, and your husband will have to adjust and accept it.