Trouble with decisions?

“We have a free weekend coming up. Where would you like to go?”

That may sound like a simple question, but it’s difficult for me because Carol already had four alternatives in her mind when she asked me for my idea. Repeat: My idea. Yep, singular. I always interpret the question as a request for where I would like to go and normally forget that she will add my one desire to her four. Then, according to simple math, she would have five options. Then the long discussion begins.

Why the long discussion? Carol’s method of making a decision is complex. She gathers all the available data, considers all of them, then spends time making the decision. But I have a built-in filter, which quickly sorts and eliminates the non-critical factors. That reduces the complexity of the decision by at least 75%. The interesting thing is, both methods usually come up with the same answer.

However, if Carol tries to think it through my way, she won’t believe she made the right decision. And if I try to consider every factor, I am spinning my wheels. What we finally realized is, God made us to think differently. So we learned to give each other the freedom to think and analyze the way God made us.

However, too many choices can be confusing and that can rob us of peace of mind. Here are several ideas that might improve the efficiency of your decision-making skills.

1. I usually pray and ask for wisdom. Proverbs 28:26 says, “Those who trust their own insight are foolish, but anyone who walks in wisdom is safe.”

2. Come to an understanding of what you really want. Be honest with yourself. Experts say that we often make wrong decisions simply because we confuse what we might like with what we really want. Think it through: What do you want?

3. You might be afraid that you’ll make the wrong decision so you want someone else to make it for you. But you’re also afraid his decision won’t be what you want so you get tied up in knots and you get nowhere. The key to getting out of this bind is to face and name those fears. Write down the worst things that could happen with the decision you are about to make. That could remove the knot and help you decide.

4. Learn to trust your intuition. Taking more time to think as you consider more factors does not always end with a satisfactory result. One young pastor told me he was afraid that he didn’t know all the factors involved in an important decision. I asked him, “What were the first thoughts you had when you began considering this move?” He said, “I prayed about it, I can afford it, I felt good about it and it will be good for my family.” I commended him for not being impulsive but let him know the other factors were unnecessary considerations which were derailing him.

5. If things don’t seem to work out as planned, don’t get stressed out. Some decisions don’t work out the way we thought they would but it doesn’t mean we were wrong. In 1978 we moved to Tulsa, Okla.

Upon arriving, I learned that the position I had been offered had been cancelled. That might have been distressing but, upon praying about it, we learned God had something better for us.

6. If you are stuck in making a decision, let it go for an hour or a day. When I was given an assignment in an aircraft plant, the manager told me he didn’t think I could handle it but gave me five days to try. After two days I had reached a dead end so I prayed and took a half-hour break. As I was discussing nonwork issues with a friend, the resolution to the “impossible job” popped into my mind and I went back and finished the job. At first the manager didn’t believe I had completed the task but, when he saw the results, he asked me how I did it. I told him that God gave me wisdom. His response, “God must have helped you. There’s no other way you could have done it.”

Those are only six of a great many hints on how to improve your decision-making skills. You can find more. But remember this: Once you’ve decided, don’t go back and second-guess yourself. And don’t forget to pray.

— S. Eugene Linzey is an author, mentor and speaker. Send comments and questions to masters. servant@cox.net. Visit his web site at www.genelinzey.com. The opinions expressed are those of the author.