It’s Only My Opinion
Follow Carolyn on Twitter @carolynhinsey
When it comes to scorched earth, look no further than GH’S Ava and her daughter Kiki. Daytime’s most outspoken columnist returns!
■ It’s bad when a friend turns on you, but it’s worse when it’s family.
■ That’s how Billy interpreted the Abbotts staging his intervention on Y&R, insisting he didn’t have a problem despite having embezzled Jabot funds and losing the company yacht in a poker game. Traci spearheaded the action, set up perfectly as every Abbott phone dinged with the message, “Serious situation with Billy!” They gathered at the family manse, joined by Billy’s no-nonsense mother. Billy (in denial): “You’re preaching to the choir.”
Jill: “The choir better start taking this seriously.”
Trying to convince an addict you’re on his side is a tough slog — especially when he’s as selfish as the entitled Billy Abbott.
Ashley (crying): “Please say you’ll go to rehab.”
Billy: “I don’t need your help. Leave me the hell alone.”
He spiraled, of course, finally admitting he did need help as sister Traci assumed the reins at Jabot. It had to be Traci because, thanks to mom Dina’s philandering, she was the only other “blood Abbott” able to legally do so — leaving Ashley and Jack in the cold.
“In the cold” for Jack meant thinking for a minute he shared a dad with his hated rival Victor Newman. Jack: “What if we’re related?”
Victor: “I’ve often thought the universe has a dark and perverse sense of humor. This joke would be in utterly bad taste.”
But would have led to fantastic story, considering they got a head start on a family feud about 35 years ago. In the end, DNA rendered Jack’s dad still MIA and it was back to the drawing (blood) board.
Jack: “Do you think everything we have done to each other has led to this moment?”
Yes! Oh, well.
Across town, everything Nick and Sharon had done led to one of the best soap opera moments Y&R has showcased in a looooong time. At their bachelor/bachelorette parties on the GCAC roof deck, both bride and groom vowed to come clean before the wedding.
Nick (to Phyllis, who he recently slept with): “I cannot exchange vows with her knowing I’m lying to her.”
Sharon (to Nikki and Victoria re: killing J.T.): “I can’t start our marriage with a huge lie between us.”
They made their way toward each other in slow motion as the party swirled around them and the drama built ... until the only per-
son who knows both secrets (Phyllis) pulled the fire alarm to stop them.
The irony of Nick’s mom, sister and ex-wife blackmailing Sharon into silence is rich. That’s some family Sharon was thinking of marrying into — again. “I want to keep an eye on the weakest link over there,” eyerolled Nikki re: Sharon.
■ It can’t feel good when your kids turn on you, either. Just ask Bill Spencer, who’s own sons didn’t even side with him when he started pursuing custody of Will on B&B.
Wyatt: “If you listen to the stories Dad tells about his own father, the guy was a tyrant.”
Liam: “I have plenty of friends who had deadbeat dads. You have to want it and put in the work. Dad’s done neither.”
Brooke siding with Bill against Katie in their custody battle made for an awkward sitch at Katie’s wedding to Thorne when Brooke stood up as matron of honor. Despite all the sappy talk of “The Logan Girls!” and how much they love each other, those sisters sure do backstab each other a lot.
Katie (to Thorne):
“We did it. We’re a family.”
Not if Brooke has anything to say about it.
■ When it comes to scorched earth, look no further than GH’S Ava and her daughter Kiki. They slap each other more than The Three Stooges.
And how about when your mom hides that you’re dying?
Oscar: “I have cancer and you never told me?”
Kim: “I wanted to protect you.”
Ah, that old soap chestnut. Whiny Kim pleaded her case but came off sounding more like a doctor who couldn’t admit medical failure than a mother who actually cared about what’s best for her kid.
Oscar: “You failed me. You made me think I had a future. College? What a joke.”
Paging Uncle Jason.
■ John’s family turned on him on DAYS, but they didn’t realize it.
Hattie (as Marlena): “Let’s get Abe down here so I can become Mrs. John Black.”
Belle: “I’m on it!”
John hemmed and hawed but his “bride” had him boxed in: “Do as I say, or you can kiss Marlena good-bye.”
Elsewhere, Jennifer was trying to tell Eric that Nicole was blackmailed into leaving town for killing Deimos without spilling who was behind it.
Eric: “Is that what you’re telling me? It was my brother?”
Jenn: “Yes. It was Brady.”
Cue Eric and Brady in a 10 x 12 hotel room to duke it out, with a predictable outcome.
Eric: “You and I are no longer brothers.”
Marlena won’t like that any more than she’ll like John being married to Hattie.
Eve’s got problems, too.
Eve: “What’s going on?”
Brady: “Your sister is stealing my son!”
Super-awkward, especially when Eve was lying in bed naked in the, um, afterglow when Brady got the call.
But nothing’s worse than the Dimera Dysfunction at the family mansion, where sudden siblings Kristen and Stefan now live.
Stefan: “I want you gone.”
Kristen: “From the sanctuary of my father’s house? Ha.”
If ever there was a moment where Stefano needed to step out of an armoire, that was it. Stefan and Kristen hurling hurtful barbs (“I know you’re jonesing for our brother’s wife,” she hissed) would resonate a lot more if they hadn’t found out they were related about two weeks ago — because who cares when a stranger turns on you?
■ Hey. It’s only my opinion.