It’s Only My Opinion
If anyone knows about messing with DNA tests, itõs Sami.
■ Can a character believably change? Yes — with a logical backstory and the love of a good (unavailable) woman.
■ Bill has done a shocking about-face on B&B, going from sleeping with (and then stalking) his son’s wife, Steffy, to declaring that he never stopped loving his last wife, Brooke. Ridge throwing him over the balcony created rooting value for ole Dollar Bill, and he capitalized on it while lying in the hospital. “I’ll still be a warrior, but there’s a better way to fight,” he oozed to Brooke. “Please take off my necklace.”
Setting aside the implausibility of doctors leaving a rope with a sword on it around the neck of a guy who almost died, Bill’s necklace gave him a masculinity he clearly craved. Not to worry, he assured Brooke — he’d still be her “stallion,” making animal noises to prove it (yup).
Wisely, B&B added Eric to this story as a much-needed voice of reason now that Ridge has taken to balcony-throwing as a way to settle his differences.
Brooke (defending Bill): “He wants his family back and to do that he needs to change.”
Eric: “He’s ruthless to the core .... This has more to do with you than you’re willing to admit.”
Indeed, Bill exonerated Ridge to the police as a way to ingratiate himself with Brooke and then proved he was a “changed man” by giving her the necklace. Kinda like Samson and his hair, but Bill neighs like a horse and got to keep his goatee.
Ridge still has Bill’s number (“I’m not going to let Spencer use our marriage as a speed bump back to you,” he warned Brooke) but now Bill has Ridge’s, too. Fixing that custody battle was pretty dumb, but if the resulting fallout leads to a torrid Ridge/ Quinn redux, I’m here for it.
And lest you think the loss of his sword lessened Bill’s sarcasm, he snarked “Relax, Nurse Barber,” to Justin on his first day back in the office.
Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose.
■ The “unavailable woman” in Jack’s case is his sister Ashley, who took her marbles and went to Paris after an epic battle over the family business on Y&R.
Jack: “I secured my position by making sure you couldn’t compete ... but we can work through this.”
Ashley: “I’ve spent so much of my life doing what’s best for Jabot. I have to put my needs first.”
Ash left town sipping champagne on a private jet, leaving Jack behind to pick up the empty perfume bottles.
Jack (faking enthusiasm):
“It’s been a long time since we were on the same team!” Billy and Abby: (side-eye).
Phyllis was elected CEO of Jabot, putting her in the same league as B&B’S Brooke, having slept with every male member of the family on the board. What glass ceiling?
Traci: “Phyllis running my father’s company is difficult.” Abby: “Because she’s not an Abbott?”
Traci: “Because she’s Phyllis.”
Jack’s team-building efforts will likely fall short based on his feelings for Phyllis, who quickly became unavailable again by jumping into bed with Jack’s former stepson, Nick.
It’s hard to tell what annoys Nikki more — Nick with Phyllis, or Jill thwarting the coven’s attempts to move that pesky dead body they buried.
Nikki (to Jill): “Why don’t you take off before a house drops on you?”
■ DAYS’S Ben is doing his best to drop the label of “murderer” with help from the unavailable Ciara. Sami is doing the same with EJ, although for all we know that could be Stefano under that gauze (same DNA). And poor Lucas turned over a new leaf because of his sudden “daughter” with Bonnie.
Lucas: “Her name is Baby Bonnie. Wasn’t my call.”
Sami: “You made sure Bonnie didn’t mess with the DNA test?”
If anyone knows about messing with DNA tests, it’s Sami. Chloe was on the case, too.
Chloe (re: Bonnie’s claim she had sex with a drunk Lucas): “I’m no biologist, but if he passed out before it was over, how exactly did she get pregnant?”
A good question for Lucas to have asked before he ordered a year’s supply of Pampers, but give him credit — he was trying to change more than diapers.
■ GH’S Michael wishes he could change diapers, but his baby is “dead”, so he’s trying to work through it.
Michael: “You want me to be okay so bad that I’ll pretend to be okay just to not disappoint you. Does that make sense?”
Carly: “I wish it didn’t, but it does.”
Michael’s choice to go to a bereavement group instead of therapy was a good one since Dr. Collins has been replaced by his psychotic twin, Ryan.
Mary Pat (arguing about leaving Mac and Felicia’s bar): “You can’t have a drink at Pier 55.”
“Kevin” (putting booze in his pocket): “Don’t worry, I know the owners. They let me get away with murder.”
Still settling scores the old-fashioned way by beheading people, I see. It’s shocking how many people in town know Kevin has a murderous look-alike, yet still aren’t questioning his behavior. Lucy should be a bigger part of this story, but Ava has turned out to be a pretty funny enabler since “Kevin” is telling her everything she wants to hear.
Ava (to Avery): “This is mom’s friend. He’s helping me with my feelings.”
By encouraging her worst impulses and telling her it’s normal to wish her own daughter dead.
Ditto the clueless Lulu.
Laura: “Did he seem okay?”
Lulu: “I didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary.”
Yes, she’s quite the ace investigative reporter.
Ryan is the exception that proves the rule: the love of a good, unavailable woman (Felicia) actually keeps him from changing. If it ain’t broke, why stop murdering it?
■ Hey. It’s only my opinion.