My It’s Only Opin­ion

Day­time’s most out­spo­ken colum­nist! Fol­low Carolyn on Twit­ter @car­olyn­hin­sey

Soap Opera Digest - - DIGEST'S HOTTEST SHOTS - By Carolyn Hin­sey

■ Let’s hear it for se­crets! The good, the bad, the big and the funny.

■ Ridge’s col­lu­sion with the judge to ensure Bill lost cus­tody of Will stayed un­der wraps for about one minute on B&B. Af­ter catch­ing the dopes in the act, Bill called all the per­pe­tra­tors into his of­fice and gave them one of those speeches Jes­sica Fletcher used to de­liver on MUR­DER, SHE WROTE. He ended with, “What Ridge did was crim­i­nal, am I right, judge?”

“Gulp,” re­sponded the judge.

Af­ter some qual­ity chest­puff­ing about how he’s a dif­fer­ent man since he took off his sword neck­lace (!), Bill backed off.

Ridge: “You hav­ing fun giv­ing us speeches about your lit­tle neck­lace? What’s the catch?”

Duh, he wants his ex-wife back. “The change in me is about you, Brooke,” cooed Bill. It felt like ro­mance re­run (Katie! Brooke! St­effy!) until his son crys­tal­lized Bill’s m.o.

Liam: “You’re play­ing the long game to get Brooke back — an­other mar­ried woman. You have so much that the only things left for you to want are some­one else’s.”

Wow. Who­ever wrote that line should get a bonus and a free ride on Bill’s he­li­copter with­out be­ing tossed into the ocean.

■ DAYS’S Ciara should have tossed Claire and Tripp out looong be­fore their scheme to frame Ben un­rav­eled.

Let’s hear it for se­crets! The good, the bad, the big and the funny.

Tripp: “What if he doesn’t keep his mouth shut?”

Claire: “Money talks.”

Not very loudly. Ben told Ciara that Tripp was be­hind the crime in the very next scene.

Since the Mar­lena/hat­tie switch was re­vealed, the se­crets in Salem are mostly just lies (Gabi fak­ing Abi­gail’s DID, Char­lotte’s pa­ter­nity test, the at­tack at the loony bin, etc.) but I did enjoy Kate try­ing to bail her son out af­ter Sarah learned he cheated.

Kate: “I’m go­ing to tell Sarah that you were very drunk and Mimi took ad­van­tage of you.”

Rex: “That’s not what hap­pened.”

Kate: “You’re not leav­ing me with a lot of ammo.”

Ha! Ty­ing “new­bies” Sarah and Rex to Bon­nie, Mimi and Kate in­te­grated them well, de­spite the coverup start­ing off-screen, which is never as ef­fec­tive.

■ There are no big­ger cover-ups than Nikki, Vic­to­ria, Phyl­lis and Sharon bury­ing J.T. on Y&R.

Tessa (show­ing se­cu­rity footage): “Your mom and the oth­ers took J.T. to Chan­cel­lor Park to bury him.”

Mariah: “We have no proof J.T. was in that rug.”

Oh, sweetie. Turned out J.T. had se­cretly in­stalled cam­eras at Vic­to­ria’s, which iron­i­cally recorded his death.

So Tessa — a noted grifter and pla­gia­rizer — no­ticed that the coven was meeting for “char­ity events” and Sharon didn’t want her chat­ting with Rey at the cof­fee shop, ran­domly found the se­cu­rity tapes, and solved the mur­der.

Which was im­ported cop Rey’s job but he was too busy be­ing led around by the, um, nose by his horny wife, Mia. That’s some crack po­lice depart­ment they’ve got there. (Pag­ing Paul Wil­liams .... )

Worse, the Jabou­tique launch party was hi­jacked by Mia “re­veal­ing” she cheated on Rey with his brother Ar­turo when they lived in Mi­ami.

Mia (shov­ing their wed­ding pic in Rey’s face): “See this? I never go any­where with­out it!”

Rey: “You take that to Ar­turo’s place when you hooked up?”

Prob­a­bly, con­sid­er­ing the new­bie sex­pot car­ried a framed glass wed­ding photo in her purse to the Jabou­tique party. Memo to Y&R: That tri­an­gle is a non­starter. Ar­turo was on the right track af­ter be­ing Nikki’s se­cret lover and dat­ing her step­daugh­ter Abby, but gloomy Rey and his over­sexed spouse can­not carry this show. You have to make us care about new char­ac­ters be­fore they take over — es­pe­cially if one is a bum­bling de­tec­tive.

■ Speak­ing of cops be­ing dumb, the PCPD called in the lo­cal se­rial killer on GH for ad­vice on how to catch the lo­cal se­rial killer.

Jor­dan: “Can we con­tinue to use you as a re­source? We’ll be tak­ing full ad­van­tage of your ex­per­tise.”

Ryan (pos­ing as Kevin): “It’s cru­cial you keep me ad­vised of your in­ves­ti­ga­tion. That way we can stay one step ahead of the killer.”

I’m all for whop­pers drag­ging on, but it’s get­ting ridicu­lous when Kevin’s wife ba­si­cally just says okay when he dumps her (C’mon, Laura!), and no one at the hos­pi­tal ques­tions any of “Kevin’s” di­ag­noses.

That said, I did enjoy The Mys­tery of Mary Pat’s Head dove­tail­ing into The Se­cret of Mar­gaux’s Dad’s Mur­der.

Carly (to Mar­gaux): “Jor­dan cleared me. You might know that if you were in closer com­mu­ni­ca­tion with your po­lice depart­ment in­stead of tak­ing a road trip to sort out your fam­ily’s dirty laun­dry.”

That “road trip” gave us Sonny’s dream, which taught us three things: Sonny would be just as con­flicted if he was a cop, Dante plays a great bad guy (“Noth­ing per­sonal,” he sneered as he shot Ja­son) and Sam looks re­ally pretty in sparkly eye shadow.

Lit­tle se­crets wrapped around a big one can rip­ple for months, like Michael’s “dead” baby be­ing raised by Brad and Lu­cas. Ev­ery time any of them cross paths it’s a big mat­zoh ball hang­ing out there — they’re just one hered­i­tary dis­ease away from the truth.

Ditto Char­lotte be­ing be­hind Ai­den’s bul­ly­ing, which has been sur­pris­ingly com­pelling for a story fea­tur­ing kids. I credit Franco, who proves ev­ery day that you’re never too young to hide things from your mother. Franco (af­ter coun­sel­ing Ai­den not to take Liz’s stress per­son­ally): “Here’s a dol­lar so you don’t tell your mom we had this con­ver­sa­tion. And here’s an­other dol­lar so you don’t tell her I gave you a dol­lar.”

Small se­crets work, too, es­pe­cially when they in­volve good char­ac­ters, hu­mor and money. Maybe Dante’s off liv­ing a se­cret life with Sam and her eye­shadow?

■ Hey. It’s only my opin­ion.

Frame Job: It’s hard to care about Rey (Jordi Vi­la­suso) and Mia’s (Noemi Ro­driguez) mar­i­tal is­sues on Y&R.

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