It’s Only My Opinion
Follow Carolyn on Twitter @carolynhinsey
Daytime’s most outspoken columnist!
■ A surprising number of soap characters are doing the right thing lately — even in classic episodes.
■ A broke Franco agreed to paint Ava’s portrait on GH, leading her to dub him a “notorious bad boy” in her invite to the unveiling. Franco’s wife was not pleased.
Liz: “She’s using you.”
Franco: “She’s paying me.”
Liz: “She’s dredging up your past for her stupid vanity party.”
Franco: “My past is hardly a deep, dark secret.”
Considering that Franco held Jason, Carly, Sam et al captive, buried Heather alive, and kidnapped more kids than the Pied Piper, Liz clearly needed that jolt of reality to remind her who she’s bedding. Franco even noted that it was the 10th anniversary of his “Francophenia” show (where he strangled a videographer).
Franco: “Notoriety sells.”
True that, Franco. Does it count as redemption if he uses the money for Cam’s college fund? Or counsels Ava to get out of her “toxic” marriage?
Franco: “You need to get out of this musty, moldy castle and leave the dark prince to brood on his own. Dump the frog.”
Franco Baldwin: From murderer to mentor.
Elsewhere, Martin is the voice of reason we’ve been waiting for to call Nelle on her b.s.
Martin: “The best we can hope for is shared custody.”
A surprising number of soap characters are doing the right thing lately.
Nelle: “Why am I paying you if all you can get me is shared custody? I’ve been telling Michael he’ll be lucky to see the kid once a month.” Martin: “It’s not going to help if you call your son ‘the kid’ before the judge. Who can testify to your integrity, humanity and compassion?”
Crickets .... It made sense for Nelle to turn to her boss, Nina, for a character reference, but Nina’s compassion for the little schemer angered Carly because she only wants second chances for her family. Nina: “What if you were judged for who you used to be?”
Ooh, can I needlepoint that into a pillow for Sonny and Carly’s new living room?
I also enjoyed the new criminal trying to charm the grande dames of Port Charles with an invitation.
Cyrus: “Sonny and I have reached an understanding.”
Laura and Carly: “Blech.”
Carly went straight to Sonny because, again, only her family is allowed to break the law.
Carly: “Promise me you’re going to end it.”
Like the Davis girls almost did in that epic fight which, in retrospect, was long overdue after Sam risked her life to rescue Kristina from the Dawn of Day cult and Krissy then turned on her for not recognizing sooner that she needed help.
Sam: “Depressed? Go to therapy. I was on trial for murder!”
Kristina: “You’re addicted to danger.your relationship with Jason is always hotter when you’re forced to be apart.”
That’s true of literally every soap couple in history, so mazel for calling that out. I’m going to needlepoint that into a pillow, too.
■ Who had Rex on their bingo card of DAYS characters doing the right thing? Not me. He ran into fugitive Sarah and tried to convince her to return “her” baby to Kristen.
Rex: “You cannot take another person’s baby.”
Sarah: “If you ever loved me, go away.”
There’s a soap opera line if I ever heard one ... Okay, back to the action.
Rex: “Do you want Mickey growing up thinking you are her mother when it’s a lie? She’s going to be asking, ‘Mommy, why are we moving again? Where’s my daddy?’ You’re going to have to lie to her the same way you were lied to.”
Look at Rex swooping in to Paris to be Switzerland. Unfortunately, Sarah didn’t take it well. She conked him on the head and tied him up.
Rex: “You’re trying to play God. That’s something Kristen Dimera does.”
Sarah: “My little girl could wind up with Kristen and Victor!”
Rex: “She’s not your little girl.”
That hurt, but not as much as a jailed Maggie finding out that 1) She killed Sarah’s baby while driving drunk and 2) Victor had been knifed by Brady (really Kristen). For an ex-nun, Kristen sure does stab a lot of people. Here’s the thing about that Dimera demon: She’s done too many terrible things to have rooting value; she’s just a criminal mess. So, bye!
■ Which brings us to the reruns, er, classic episodes. B&B chose pretty weddings in splashy locations over story: Malibu, Australia, Italy, even a hot air balloon at Eric’s 1991 wedding to Brooke.
Taylor: “How are you holding up?”
Ridge: “All my women seem to be falling by the wayside. They’re either getting married or engaged.”
All “his” woman ... okay, Ridge. Stephanie’s face during those nuptials was heartbreaking — in fact, her face at all the weddings told the whole story.
Stephanie (to Eric): “Your wife [Donna] should be supporting you instead of the son of a bitch who stole your company [Bill]!”
Those old shows highlight how strong Stephanie Forrester was, and how right B&B was to build so much story around her for 25 years. But all the recasts really take their toll. There was old Ridge standing up at Eric and Brooke’s ceremony as old Storm and old Felicia looked on and the “Logan sisters” were just dark-haired strangers in bridesmaids dresses.
■ Conversely, Y&R is full of familiar faces, no matter what show they air. How sweet was Victor pretending to be his own valet to woo Nikki without her knowing he was rich? And that fantasy Nikki had of dying and being kept in a coffin in Victor’s house was next level. Victor dumped Ashley in front of Nikki’s “dead body”, so she rose up to reward him for his loyalty.
Victor: “Am I dreaming? I thought I’d lost you!”
Lines like that will always be right, Mustache.
■ Hey. It’s only my opinion.