It’s Only My Opinion
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Daytime’s most outspoken columnist!
■ Convoluted stories work best when they feature characters we care about with clear motivation.
■ DAYS’S Kate is dating Jake, who still has feelings for Gabi, who went on a date with Kate’s son Philip.
Philip (to Gabi): “My mom and your ex?”
Yup! Mixing business with pleasure is especially fun when revenge is involved (Kate vs. Gabi) or more family members get drawn into the mess. Kate’s other son Lucas is pretending to woo Philip’s ex Chloe to help Sami, who is being blackmailed by Kristen (got that?).
Sami: “Chloe is your exwife. Make her fall back in love with you.”
Every corner of this decagangle (my word for a 10-sided “love triangle”) is entertaining but Lucas’s eagerness to help Sami takes center stage because his motives are so obvious: He still loves her. Lucas (to Sami): “This is like Voldemort against Bugs Bunny. You got this.”
Conversely, Gwen’s actions still don’t make sense. She poisoned Abigail, slept with Chad and killed Laura to punish Abigail for getting the happy childhood Gwen thought she deserved as Jack’s sudden long-lost daughter.
Abigail: “You came to Salem to ruin my life. Congratulations.”
Gwen’s crimes are not forgivable, no matter how much she sucks up to her new “daddy”.
■ Adam’s crimes on Y&R are not forgivable, either, but Victor is still defending his demon son.
Billy: “Adam tampered with your medication and almost killed you. Why do you keep enabling him?”
Victor: “You’re playing with fire.”
And yet The Mustache is the one who keeps getting burned by repeatedly standing by Adam while dissing loyal Victoria. When Billy Abbott is the voice of reason, you’ve lost the plot.
Sally’s plot is clearer, despite a few missteps. She moved to Genoa City for a new start, yet immediately blackmailed Kyle and Summer (whose families make up 80 percent of the town) and then threatened Phyllis. How did she think that was going to go?
When Billy Abbott is the voice of reason, you’ve lost the plot.
Sally (to Lauren): “I was upset and I lashed out but that is not who I am.”
That’s exactly who she is. Is Sally really trying to become a better person by loving Jack, or is she after his money and status? Either way, Jack has a believable story with a real firecracker so it works.
For convoluted, you can’t beat Mariah carrying a baby for Abby made possible by a, um, donation from Devon while Abby’s infertile new
husband, Chance, is totally MIA. Is Abby so tired of being alone (after her 10th fizzled romance) that she thinks a baby will fix her life? Actually, that would make sense.
More sense than this scene:
Mariah (re: morning sickness): “I thought it would be sweet. There’s nothing sweet about it.”
Tessa: “You don’t enjoy feeling like you’re going to hurl?”
Cue Tessa singing a song about flowers growing as Mariah lay prone on the couch. That would make me hurl.
■ I applaud B&B for branching out from THE HOPE/ LIAM/STEFFY SHOW but I need a few more beats to get to faves Eric and Quinn cheating on each other. Eric and Donna were married, so that tracks — she has always sniffed after her “Honey Bear”. And B&B is good at giving us shocking couples (Brooke and Deacon!), so Quinn and Carter are certainly in their wheelhouse. But why would Quinn confide in Carter that Eric — his boss — has lost his sex drive?
Quinn (after complaining to Carter that Eric won’t “make love” to her): “I’m embarrassing both of us now.”
You can say that again. Paging the Forrester Creations HR department!
■ Saving Port Charles is a GH theme going back to the 1981 Ice Princess, so it’s logical that Carly and Laura would team up to vanquish Cyrus.
Carly (to Nikolas): “If Cyrus gets Florence back he’ll turn Port Charles into a drug den!”
Nikolas blackmailing Carly into returning Cyrus’s mother was a stretch (Nik’s men would kill Bobbie? Really?) but his motive was clear: Protecting his Aunt Alexis in prison. I wish Laura had told her son that Alexis doesn’t deserve protection. Everyone, including her lawyer, Diane, told Alexis not to plead guilty (to stabbing Dante while drunk) but she insisted she must be “accountable”. So ... be accountable. Take your lumps from the prison battleaxes out to rearrange the face of the “new girl” and move on. It’s Alexis’s job to learn a lesson, not Nikolas’s job to protect her from the lesson.
In another inspired pairing, Carly is also working with Anna to bring down Peter.
Anna (to Jason): “Thank you for sending Carly to me. It’s been a pleasure.”
There’s a sentence she’s never said. Is Carly keepmiss ing busy so she doesn’t Sonny? If so, tell us. Not playimpact ing that beat lessens the of his “death” because if Carly isn’t longing for Sonny, why should he return to P.C.? Sonny, er, “Mike” sure doesn’t care — his budding romance with Nina even got him to put on a cowboy hat!
Come to think of it, Liz isn’t mourning Franco, either.
Where are the scenes of Liz and Carly calling their husbands’ cell phones to hear their voices or visiting their graves? Maxie visits Nathan’s grave once a week! A real widow would be struggling.
Like Franco’s father, Scotty, whose behavior is spot-on as he takes stock of his life and all the “horrible stuff” he’s done.
Scotty (to Cameron): “I’ve got three kids I didn’t even know about until they were grown.”
There’s nothing more understandable than a bereaved man reaching out for comfort in an unlikely place. Scotty (to Obrecht): “I thought we could have our own Oktoberfest .... ”
Pairing Laura’s ex with Faison’s ex may be complicated but it will be worth it. Willkommen!
■ Hey. It’s only my opinion.