It’s Only My Opinion
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Daytime’s most outspoken columnist!
■ Let’s hear it for strange bedfellows ....
■ Hello, Ladies! DAYS’S Abigail and Gabi (a.k.a. The Bellydance Twins) repeatedly prove “The enemy of my enemy is my friend” as they battle Gwen. First they kidnapped her, then tried to vanquish her after Gwen’s one-night stand with Chad led to pregnancy.
Gabi (re: abortion): “What do you want me to do, kidnap Gwen and force it on her?”
Abigail: “We can’t do that. Can we?”
No need — Gwen lost the baby and framed Abigail for it after a fall down the stairs. That’s admittedly a low bar, with Kristen coating herself in latex to dumb down the entire town.
Kate (re: Susan wig): “What are you going to do, put that dead cat on your head and have Susan Banks break up with Jake?”
Kristen (pulling out a Kate mask): “I meant to grab this. It will work. It always does.”
Not if Sami has anything to say about it. She’s in cahoots with her literal bedfellow, Lucas, to keep Kristen from blabbing their affair to EJ in exchange for Lucas seducing Chloe away from Brady. Huh? Sami should have bested that pesky lunatic weeks ago! And honestly, who wants that dope Brady at this point?
Nicole (to Brady re: Kristen): “Do I think you’d be happier with Chloe than with that
We got the first sex scenes we’ve had on B&B in over a year.
murdering nutjob? Yes. One day her mask is going to fall off. See what I did there?”
Ha, ha, yup! It’s fun to see Chloe and Nicole having each other’s backs considering their history battling over Brady (“Broe” vs. “Bricole” 4ever). I’m good with any combination of Nicole, Chloe, Kate and/or Sami crushing Kristen — unless ole Steamer Trunk Sarah wants to swoop in and do it. ■ Nowhere does “The enemy of my enemy is my friend” ring more true than on GH, where Ava and Laura teamed up to keep Cyrus busy while Carly busted Jason out of the hospital.
Ava (to Carly): “For once, you and I are on the same side. Cyrus won’t know what hit him.”
Laura: “Don’t set his ponytail on fire.”
Actually, Laura’s the one who did that after Cyrus bragged that he keeps tabs on Spencer in Europe. Unable to contain herself, Laura unleashed venom we haven’t heard since Helena Cassadine held Luke and Laura at gunpoint.
Laura: “You’re always going to be pitiful and alone.”
And killing people. Cyrus’s attempts to syringe Britt were foiled by Jason in cahoots with Carly, which spells u-n-h-o-l-y t-r-i-o in every language.
Britt (to Jason after he was shot): “By all means, go after Carly. Maybe she’ll like it
when you collapse at her feet and she gets to whisper a last word in your ear while you bleed to death.”
Sarcasm is lost on Jason. But it’s not lost on Scotty, who sleeps “like a potato pancake” in the afterglow of his sex romps with former Faison love slave Liesl Obrecht.
Laura (spying them canoodling): “Is this what it looks like?”
Scotty: “It just happened.”
Which brings us to Brook Lynn and Maxie, former archenemies united to get the best of their exes via an inspired baby scheme.
Brook Lynn: “If I sell it, and you know I will, Valentin will think your baby is his.”
What could possibly go wrong?
■ That’s a question Y&R’S Nick should have asked before he flew a private jet into a tornado at Adam’s Kansas hideout.
Sharon: “Why won’t Nick call me?”
Because none of the Newmans watch TV, read a newspaper or check a weather report.
Nick went after his hated half brother because he needed Adam’s kidney for Faith. Post-twister, Adam got help from the local firehouse to extract Nick from the rubble (part of Y&R’S latest quest to redeem the murderous Adam) but admitted he had to give a fake name.
Nick: “What name did you give them?”
Adam: “Billy Abbott.”
Nick: “Solid.”
Okay, that’s funny. Faith’s health crisis also made strange bedfellows of Nikki and Sharon, who once threw hay on each other during a catfight in the stables. Or was it manure?
Sharon: “It’s nice to be on the same side.”
Nikki: “We are in a different place, aren’t we?”
And you know who’s saving that preposterous Abby/ Mariah/devon surrogacy tale? Abby’s mother-in-law, Nina. Every time Abby gets one of those fake, “Yay, it’s Chance calling me!” one-way phone calls, Nina makes it seem real by assuring Abby that even though Chance disappeared to go on a “secret mission” two months after their wedding, everything is fine.
Abby: “I know that my little family is going to come together soon.”
Keep dreaming, sweetie.
■ Zoe dreamt of Zende on B&B, which caused her fiancé, Carter, to dump her. So Zoe asked the wife of their mutual boss, Eric (!), to plead her case.
Carter: “Zoe made a move on Zende. I’m supposed to brush that aside?”
Quinn: “Yes. In my book if someone apologizes, and they’re sincere, you need to forgive them.”
Like Quinn did after Brooke apologized for kissing Bill? But I digress ....
Zoe: “My future with Carter rests in your hands.”
Quinn: “I did my best.”
At seducing him! Quinn pulled a double cross on Zoe and it couldn’t have happened to a nicer babynapper. Bonus: We got the first sex scenes we’ve had on B&B in over a year.
Quinn: “How did I let this happen? I cheated on my husband!”
Carter: “I slept with my boss’s wife!”
Way to recap. Memo to Zoe: Always make sure your strange bedfellow isn’t ... in bed with your fellow.
■ Hey. It’s only my opinion.