Forget BOB ABISHOLA! Some Of TV’S Funniest Lines Are On Soaps.
DAYS OF OUR LIVES
(Paulina interrupts EJ while he’s addressing Stefano’s portrait.)
EJ: “Lovely to see you again. I was just talking to my father.”
Paulina: “Looks like he’s giving you the silent treatment.”
(Tony and Anna arrive at the Dimera mansion, which is decorated for Johnny and Chanel’s wedding reception.)
Anna: “Oh, look, Tony, how wonderful! They’re throwing a party to welcome us home from Europe.”
Tony: “Oh, it’s not meant for us, darling. It says ‘Congratulations’.”
Anna: “Well, maybe they wanna congratulate us on how well we did flying commercial.”
(EJ walks in as Johnny talks out loud to Stefano’s portrait.)
EJ: “Who were you talking to?”
Johnny: “You got me. Sometimes I talk to Nonno. Crazy, right?”
EJ: “Only if you hear him answer back.” (Kate checks in on Chad, who feels guilty for framing EJ.)
Kate: “Good morning, Hamlet. Something is rotten in the state of Dimera?”
Chad: “You know there is.”
Kate: “No, I don’t know that. EJ may be facing trial for something he might not have done, but in the history of Dimera family business, that’s like pilfering office supplies.”
DYNASTY
(Dominque visits Alexis in jail.)
Dominique: “I see they don’t let you wash your hair extensions in here.”
GENERAL HOSPITAL
(Carly and Nina have a heated confrontation at Crimson.)
Carly: “What I want is to never lay eyes on you again.”
Nina: “Well, that would be a lot easier if you stayed out of my office!”
YOUNG AND RESTLESS
(Sally tricks Adam into coming back to his office by claiming there’s an emergency, but he walks in to find his suite heavily decorated.) Sally: “Ta-da!”
Adam: “Uh, was the emergency that you ran out of tape?”
(After Billy busts a disguised Sally trying to spy on him, he drags her to Adam’s office.) Adam: “Billy, whatever it is you want, I don’t have the time, so you might as well turn around and leave.” Billy: “Save it, Adam. You’re not a good enough actor to pretend you don’t want to hear what I have to say, especially after all the work you went through to get Double O-nothing to spy on me.”
(Gloria admits to Michael and Kevin that she wasn’t the best mother to them.) Gloria: “It took me a while, but I think you all have to agree that I’ve grown into my role.”
Kevin: “As Lady Macbeth?”