Forget HOME LINES ECONOMICS! Some Of TV’S Funniest Lines Are On Soaps.
DAYS OF OUR LIVES
(Nicole tries to explain to Brady why she had sex with Rafe.)
Nicole: “When your stepmom was possessed by the devil, she brought Deimos back from the dead to terrorize me.”
Brady: “That was not where I thought this story was going.”
(Kayla, dressed as a nun, prepares to move into the convent where Kristen may be hiding out.)
Steve: “Kristen Dimera may be hiding in the convent, but some habits, pun intended, are hard to break.”
(EJ and Belle discuss which judge will be assigned to his trial.)
EJ: “Given the details of this case, I certainly trust someone who has passed the bar than the hoi polloi of this town who would love nothing more than to bring down a one-percenter.”
Belle: “Oh, God, do you know how arrogant you sound?”
EJ: “I’m simply speaking the truth.”
Belle: “Okay, well, then do us all a favor and stop speaking.”
GENERAL HOSPITAL
(Olivia counsels Carly about Sonny falling in love with Nina as “Mike”.)
Olivia: “I’m not saying that Sonny’s not a dog. All men are dogs. And, for example, I give you my husband,
Ned — I happen to be a dog lover. What can I say?”
(Gladys tries to offer a grieving Brando some comfort.) Gladys: “I’ve been listening to this podcast about loss, and it says grief is like a daffodil.”
Brando:
“Daffodil?” Gladys:
“Yeah. You plant it in the wintertime and then wait for spring until it blossoms.
Wait a minute. Is that the podcast about gardening? I don’t know. Wait, maybe it’s both? You get the idea.” Brando: “No, I’m not sure I do.”
(Alexis and Sam confront Tracy about not paying for her past crimes.) Alexis: “There’s no such thing as bereavement leave when you’re on the lam, and your loss [of Luke], as devastating as it may be, has nothing to do with you owning up to what you did.”
Tracy: “Do you want me to go to prison? I’m already in the house with Monica.”
YOUNG AND RESTLESS
(Chloe asks how things are going between Sally and Chelsea.)
Chloe: “You said that you were learning something from her.”
Sally: “Yeah, how to swallow my pride and fake a pleasant demeanor.”
(Nikki feigns surprise when she walks into Victoria’s office and sees Ashland.)
Nikki: “Why, Victoria, you’ve done something new with your hair.”
Ashland: “Well, thank you for noticing.”
(Victoria explains why Nikki gifted her with a pair of designer pumps.)
Victoria: “It’s our new ritual. Instead of cigars and champagne to celebrate our business conquest, baby gets a new pair of shoes.”