ME VS. HIM
■ Who dresses better — you or Nick?
“All I wear are basketball shorts and cutoff shirts, so Nick has a better wardrobe, but I don’t like how he dresses because it’s all sweaters and pocket squares.”
Who has a better house? “My house is great. I love my house. My wife is a designer and has made it look really cool. It’s big and open and has an awesome backyard.”
Who drives a cooler car? “Well, Joshua drives a Tesla and I love that car. It’s one of my favorite things I ever purchased.”
Who’s more uptight? “Oh, Nick for sure. He’s wound pretty tight about certain things, while it takes something really special to get my heart rate up. Not much angers me.”
Who’s a better dancer? “Joshua. I like to get down, man. Before the kids came along, my wife and I used to go out and dance two nights a week. My wife is sexy and hot and I love dancing with her.”
Who’s more fun at a party? “Nick. Joshua tends to be in the corner, setting up shop at the bar. Nick would be wandering around being super-social.”
Who’s hipper? “I’m the opposite of hip, so I’ll have to say Nick. He dresses better and is up on current events. I only care about sports and Nick is much more well-rounded.”
Who has the shorter temper? “Nick. He used to have an extremely quick trigger. He’s matured over time but he can still get pretty heated quickly with people who attack his family.”
Who’s the better joke teller? “Me, hands down. I’m a really funny person. I laugh at myself all of the time. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that everybody says I’m funny and I think I just am. Nick is in goofy-dad mode, whereas I’m very sarcastic and I like to pick on people. If there’s something that bothers you, then I’m going to use that and enjoy it. I’m very ornery but it comes across in a very funny way.”