Souderton Independent

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- Outta Leftfield

Sitting out at the iimerick outlet mall during the big iabor Day sale last weekend, I had plenty of time to daydream. I know my role on these shopping trips: Sitting, snoozing, schlepping. And, of course, with all of that comes the daydreamin­g.

And here is what I concluded: I miss deorge Carlin.

$V wH fiQG RuUVHOvHV in the middle of silly poOLWLFDO FRQvHQWLRQ VHDVRQ, I wondered what CarOLQ wRuOG KDvH WKRuJKW about the process of choosing our leaders WKHVH GDyV. , GRQ’W EHOLHvH LW’V D stretch to say that he wouldn’t think much of it at all.

But I don’t write about politics LQ WKLV VSDFH. :H KDvH HQRuJK RI that hoo-ha at our disposal if we FKRRVH WR UHDG LW. SuIfiFH WR VDy WKDW I don’t think deorge Carlin would be amused by today’s politics.

I started listening to Carlin in the early 1970s, around the age of 13 or 14. In those days, he recorded comedy albums, and I was fascinated by his use of the language and his take on human nature. He was less political then, but so was my teenage world. Carlin thought flDWuOHQFH wDV IuQQy DQG VR GLG ,. I still think that today and I’m sure he would, too.

7KH fiUVW &DUOLQ DOEum , can recall listening to was called “Class Clown,” released in 1972, and it had on it what would become one of Carlin’s signature ELWV: “SHvHQ :RUGV YRu &DQ 1HvHU SDy RQ 7HOHvLVLRQ.”

In case you are not famLOLDU wLWK LW, WKH VHvHQ words you couldn’t say RQ WHOHvLVLRQ EDFN WKHQ were bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleepbleep­er, bleeperble­eper and bleeps. Three of those words can now be said on network televLVLRQ, DQG DOO FDQ EH VDLG RQ SDy WHOHvLVLRQ. 1RQH, KRwHvHU, FDQ EH written in a family newspaper and that still holds true today because, wHOO, LW’V uQQHFHVVDU­y. :H’vH DOO KHDUG WKH wRUGV; mDQy RI uV KDvH uVHG WKHm. YRu GRQ’W QHHG WR VHH them in your local newspaper.

I continued to listen to Carlin’s FRmmHQWDUy WKURuJK FROOHJH, HvHQ VHHLQJ KLm SHUIRUm OLvH RQFH DW ,RwD SWDWH 8QLvHUVLWy LQ $mHV, Iowa, in the late 1970s. crankly, I don’t remember much about that performanc­e because I was preoccupie­d in those early years of college with women, beer and a new mRvLH FDOOHG “$QLmDO HRuVH.” BuW I’m pretty sure I laughed because I always thought Carlin was hilarious.

The next time I got a chance to VHH KLm OLvH wDV QHDUOy 20 yHDUV later in ias segas in the mid-1990s. My wife and I were with my college roommate, Billy McBride, and his wife, Cher, on a little three-day weekend getaway to Sin City.

,W wDV WKH ODVW HvHQLQJ RI RuU WULS, DQG wH wHUH OHDvLQJ RQ DQ HDUOy flLJKW WKH QHxW mRUQLQJ. &DUOLQ wDV performing a late show at one of the casinos — I think it was Bally’s — DQG HvHUyRQH HOVH LQ my SDUWy was tuckered out and didn’t want to go to the show. But how could I not walk right across the street to see the great deorge Carlin?

So I went by myself, bought a single ticket, and got a seat right in the front row for the show. Carlin wDV EULOOLDQW WKDW HvHQLQJ.

$IWHUwDUGV, , GHFLGHG WR fiOO uS the rental car’s gas tank so I didn’t KDvH WR wRUUy DERuW WKDW WKH QHxW morning on the way to the airport. There was a gas station right near Bally’s, so I got the car out of the SDUNLQJ JDUDJH DQG KHDGHG RvHU.

Because it was late, one couldn’t fiOO uS DW WKDW VWDWLRQ wLWKRuW SUHSDyLQJ fiUVW. SR , wDONHG LQWR WKH store, where there were two caVKLHUV. 2QH KDG D ORQJ OLQH RI VHvHQ or eight people standing in it, the other had only one guy. Naturally, I picked the shorter line.

The guy in the line, dressed in a black T-shirt and black jeans, was blabbering on about how he used WR EH D FDE GULvHU LQ /DV 9HJDV DQG blah, blah, blah. I wasn’t a foot away from him but was only half listening, more concerned about weather I wanted a bag of peanuts or potato chips.

7KH GuGH LQ IURQW RI mH HvHQtually quit yakking. I prepaid for my gas and went back outside and fiOOHG WKH WDQN. :KHQ , wHQW EDFN inside to collect my change, I got back in the same line.

When I got up to the counter, the female cashier said, “Did you see who you were standing behind wKHQ yRu wHUH LQ KHUH WKH fiUVW time?” “No, who?’ I responded. “That was deorge Carlin,” she said.

“No it wasn’t,” I said. “I just came from his show not a half hour ago. $QG ,’m D KuJH IDQ. ,’vH JRW WKH ticket stub right here in my pocket.”

She then produced a receipt from behind the counter. On the back it was signed, “deorge Carlin.”

Argh. Carlin had been wearing a black T-shirt and black jeans for the performanc­e. He had once been D FDE GULvHU LQ /DV 9HJDV. HH KDG a ponytail.

SRmH IRUmDOOy WUDLQHG REVHUvHU , was at that point in my journalist­ic career. What a missed opportunit­y. , wRuOG KDvH ORvHG WKH WDON wLWK him one-on-one then and I would ORvH WR WDON wLWK KLm QRw DQG JHW his take on today’s political landscape.

My guess would be he’d say something along the lines of bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleepbleep­er, bleeperble­eper and bleeps.

Mike Morsch is executive editor of Montgomery Media and author of the book, “Dancing in My Underwear: The Soundtrack of My Life.” He can be reached by calling 215-542-0200, ext. 415 or by email at msquared35@yahoo.com. This column can also be found at www.montgomery­news.com.

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