Social media notices call for in-kind replies

Dear Miss Manners: My son and his fiancee decided they wanted a no-frills wedding at the beach: just him, his bride and, lucky for us, as parents we were at least invited. I was disappointed, as I would have liked to have had a wedding for our family and friends, but it’s ultimately about what they want for themselves.

Our relatives who live out of state were slighted that there wasn’t a wedding as well. While many acquaintances and not-close family members posted congratulations on social media, none of the immediate aunts and uncles acknowledged their wedding with a phone call or even a card.

I’m upset with my sisters and brothers and in-laws that such an important day in the life of someone they claim to love so much went by without even a phone call within the month following.

When did social media become the accepted way for people who are family or close to you to send their wishes? While they were disappointed to not be given the chance to attend his wedding (it was planned in two weeks), my son is even more disappointed by their lack of interest.

Gentle Reader: As entertaining as this game of “Who was more slighted?” may be — particularly when played out with an audience on social media — there appear to be no winners. Miss Manners further questions how these family members might have even known about the wedding, had it not presumably been posted on social media in the first place.

If that is the case, they were simply responding in kind. If cards and calls were the goal, however, then you and/or your son should have sent out formal announcements or made personal phone calls with the news. If that was what was done and the aforementioned postings were the response from your relatives, then forgive Miss Manners. Your son does, indeed, win the award for most justified grievance.