Courtesy enough when ‘breaking up’

Dear Miss Manners: For nine years, I have been seeing a mental health professional who has been treating me for depression and anxiety. I feel it is time for a change.

The chief reason for considering leaving is that his fees have become too expensive. Many other mental health care professionals’ fees in the area are much less.

Should I tell him the chief reason I am leaving his practice is the expense, or just that I need a change?

Gentle Reader: Your dealings with professionals such as therapists are not social relationships, and their cessation does not require the same amount of care by way of excuses in order to spare their feelings.

Dear Miss Manners: My mom’s friends and I are split on the issue of grandparents and other adult relatives at children’s birthday parties.

Some of us have very kid-themed parties and still invite grandparents, while others believe that adults (other than parents) should not be asked to attend parties that are too childish for them to enjoy. The latter group holds two birthday parties for their children each year, one for adult relatives of the child and the other for the child’s friends.

We’re curious about what etiquette states about this. Those who have been inviting adults to kid-themed parties will mend our ways if we are told we have been erring . Some of those who have been holding two parties would like to stop if they are told that just the kid-friendly party is sufficient

Gentle Reader: You may be surprised to hear that Miss Manners’ only firm stance on the number of children’s birthday parties is that they be age-appropriate in activity and provisions, and that you do not tax anyone with feeling obligated to attend multiple parties with multiple presents. Also, no clowns who might scare children . Other than that, know your audience and invite accordingly.

Send questions to Miss Manners at her website, missmanners.com or email her at dearmissmanners@ gmail.com.