Let him know you did your homework

Dear Miss Manners: I’m a woman who has done a fair amount of online dating, on different sites. After messaging back and forth, arrangements are usually made for a phone call, assuming both are interested.

I always review the man’s profile before the call, because it may have been several days or longer since I read it. It seems like the polite and prudent thing to do. That way I can mention things that he said, and ask about his job or places he’s traveled.

However, I can tell that the man has not done the same, since he is asks me very basic stuff that is in my profile. I don’t expect him to memorize everything or know everything, but doing a little homework shows the other person respect.

Is there a polite way for me to comment on this? I’m afraid it sounds snarky if I said, “Did you even read my profile?”

Gentle Reader: “As I wrote in my profile — sorry if I am repeating myself — I do love fly fishing and the changing autumn leaves. I think you said in yours that you prefer cheese-rolling on grassy hills?”

Dear Miss Manners: I asked my recently widowed neighbor and friend to come over for a drink. She asked what time, and I told her, “about 5 p.m., or whenever you get here.”

She arrived at 5:12 p.m. with sushi she had purchased. I made her drink of choice and we chatted as we snacked. There was no mention of dinner during our happy hour.

About 6 p.m., I turned on my stove to start cooking. That is when she asked my wife, “Will we be eating here or in the dining room?”

I did not know what to say. But after a moment or two my wife said, “In the dining room.”

While I deboned the chicken, our guest came over and grabbed one of the bones and started chewing on it. We are still speechless. How should we have handled this?

Gentle Reader: “5 p.m. or whenever you get here” is a difficult drinks-only time to maintain when you eat dinner at 6 p.m.

Next time, refrain from making dinner in front of guests with whom you don’t plan on enjoying it.