Singleton missing out on life celebrations

Dear Amy: I’m a woman in my 30s, and happily single. I live in my own apartment with my dog. I have a great career, a great family and wonderful friends. I’m on the younger side in my family, so by the time my milestones hit (turning 21 and 30, college graduations, etc.) they were not big “new” events.

While I would like to get married and possibly have children someday, that may just not be in the cards. All that being said, I find myself constantly celebrating members of my family and spending money on weddings and children’s birthday gifts, but when it is something that is important to me, it gets overlooked or downplayed. I’m starting to become resentful.

When do singles get celebrated and supported for life choices outside of weddings and procreating?

I’m still here, and I have feelings, too!

— Still Here

Dear Here: I completely agree with you that more “traditional” lifecelebrations such as showers, weddings and birth celebrations leave out singletons. That does not explain your own family’s lack of attention toward your graduation and baptism, however. I wonder if you have a family member (a parent, perhaps), who could advocate for you, in order for you to receive the attention you deserve. If your own parents are the root of this problem, then you should deal with them and assertively make your expectations clear — and express your disappointment with clarity when they let you down.

I like the idea of singletons finding big and celebratory ways to mark important life events — such as landmark birthdays, starting a new job or moving to a new home. Perhaps you have a group of friends who can support you in throwing a “singleton shower,” where you send out “save the date” cards and come together in a spirit of celebration to play games, trade stories and in general celebrate your own lives and life choices.