The best way to gauge mutual interest

Dear Miss Manners: OK, so let’s get down to business. There’s this boy at school that I really like. The problem (among others) is that I’m a sophomore and he’s a senior. We are good friends because of theater. But I’m afraid he’ll only think of me as a little sister.

Do you have any ideas on how I can become closer to him before the end of the year?

Gentle Reader: While ever an enthusiast of romance, there is a reason that Miss Manners favors the 19th-century kind. Yes, its plots can be slow-moving, but wrestling with feelings until one is certain of their reciprocation makes for far less heartbreak and regret.

However, since you have common interests, there is no reason that you cannot ask this young man for coffee to talk about theater — or invite him to see a show. If he agrees, and does not invite a gaggle of friends along, you have fair indication that there might be interest.

Dear Miss Manners: I’m the mom of two very young kids. They are often invited to birthday parties and are too young to be dropped off and left without a parent. Several of these parties are held at restaurants at lunchtime, and I always find that food is provided for the kids but none is provided for the adults. I find this to be rude on the host’s part. My husband finds nothing wrong with it. I’ve decided to no longer accept invitations for at-restaurant parties. Am I expecting something that I shouldn’t?

Gentle Reader: While eating leftovers from children’s plates is a habit best left at home, these hosts seem to have given you little alternative. Miss Manners assures you that requiring attendance for a meal that is only being served to some of the guests is rude. Since toddlers probably couldn’t care less about food as a means of entertainment, making it a central focus point seems nonsensical. She therefore permits you to forgo these festivities with a clear conscience.